The Beautiful Hummingbird - Part I

The Brazen Edit

My heart sinks into my stomach. How does this Tom McKenzie know who I am and how did he get my number? "How can I help you?" I say trying to sound nonchalant.

"Well, Mr Styles asked us to contact you. He has told us all about his acquaintance with you and that is what I'd like to talk to you about." Tom sounds smarmy and I immediately don't like his voice.

Acquaintance? I suddenly feel queasy and clammy and have to sit down on the edge of the bed. Harry said he hadn't told anyone about us but if this Tom knows then he's lied to me. I remain silent trying to take it all in and saying to myself over and over to remain calm.

"Ok well I'm not sure how I can help, why are you calling me?" This could be anyone so I need to be mindful about how much information I give a complete stranger over the phone.

"Miss Wilson, I know you and Harry hooked up recently and whilst he had fun that's all it was. Harry is, how can I put this, impulsive and things get the better of him often and he can't help himself."

I feel my whole body tensing, my hand is gripping onto my mobile so tightly my knuckles are white and my palms are sweating. "No, Harry's not like that," my voice is shaky.

"Well unfortunately it's true because he is already in a relationship with someone else." Tom laughs nervously.

I shudder and my body temperature switches from hot flush to cold. "No I don't believe you," spills off my tongue. I am shaking my head from side to side and trying to hold back the tears as there is no way I am going to let this Tom hear me upset.

Tom's tone turns business like. "Mr Styles has asked us, as his management representatives, to sort it out amicably with you. Now in the interests of protecting reputations of course we are prepared to offer an incentive if you sign consent forms that you won't speak to any media outlets regarding your fling with him."

Reputation? Fling? I am completely numb and feel like I am falling on a downward spiral at his words. "No, you've got this all wrong, I'll speak to Harry," my voice doesn't sound like my own, it's broken and squeaky.

"As I said, Mr Styles has asked us to sort this out and would be grateful if you don't contact him again." Tom's tone is now sharp.

"I don't believe you, he wouldn't do that" comes out through tears that I can no longer hold back.

"Oh, it's hard I know. He has a certain charm with females, never learns." Tom sounds so patronizing I want to scream at him.

"Who is she?" I have no idea why I am asking this question.

"Well that really isn't relevant but I suppose you will see them together soon enough, it's the actress Eden Scott."

I don't respond as I know exactly who Eden Scott is. Harry once made a passing comment about what a great actress she is. "Stunning" I think was the word he used.

"Look, I know this must be a shock. Believe me I don't like to be the deliverer of bad news. Although it doesn't feel like it now, take my advice, it's best to just move on with your life. You aren't the first and I doubt you'll be the last. I will email you the necessary documents , some photographs and my contact details. If you have any questions please call me, otherwise I look forward to receiving the signed documents back later today." Tom almost sounds cheerful.

Take my advice? Best to move on? Pictures? Before I can say anything else the line goes dead. I sit staring into space. The devil and angel immediately appear.

The devil's tone is mocking in my left ear. "He hasn't called you Tasha has he, not even a quick text."

The angel is quick to soothingly counter in my right ear. "Remember his heart to heart Tasha, he loves you, he wouldn't do this, he promised."

Devil, "Yes the heart to heart where he said management had 'sorted' out his misdemeanors in the past. He said he hadn't told anyone about the two of you but he's told management!"

Angel, "There's no evidence, call him Tasha and speak to him, hear it from him."

Devil, "There's pictures."

I grab my laptop hitting the keys so hard. I type into the search 'Eden Scott'. Headlines flash across the screen 'Are Styles & Scott a match made in Heaven?', 'Has Harry finally found love?', 'Harry & Eden share day out together in London'.

Before I can click on any of the articles a message pops up that I have a new email. It's from Tom and has a document attachment along with four JPEGs. I open all the pictures in turn and am presented with images of Harry and Eden hugging and what looks like kissing in a bar in Australia. I know for sure the images are of Harry as he had mentioned he went to an event there during one of our long distance conversations. I suddenly feel nauseous and run to the bathroom and throw up, heaving repeatedly because there is nothing in my stomach. I lay on the cold bathroom floor, pull my knees to my chest and sob.

I cannot get a grip of my thoughts and I need to, I really do. I try to recall everything that has happened over the last few days but it's all jumbled in my head. That's why he didn't want to tell anyone about us. I was just a fling, get to know me from afar and then use me as someone to pass the time with when he was on his break. Someone who could then be paid off to go away after he'd has his fun. But he didn't get his fun, instead he got paranoid and damaged me.

All the promises he made were just hollow. He probably thought keep her sweet, say nice things and then get management to sort it out. God, no wonder he wants it sorted so quickly, he probably thinks he's had a lucky escape from the broken damaged and scared girl with her tears and depressing past. How can I have been so stupid? Stupid, silly Tasha. To think that someone like him would fall for someone as plain and boring and unattractive as me when he has the world at his feet and can get any women he wants.

I am torturing myself and that feeling makes me feel better inside. I feel nothing but emptiness. I lay on the floor and I start to scratch my wrists. I scratch them until they bleed. However, I am so cold I need to get up off the floor. I decide I must pull myself together, I am worth more than this and I need to hear it from the horse's mouth. I grab my phone and head downstairs whilst I call his number. I am greeted by the final nail in the coffin that represents my stupidity at falling for Harry Styles.

**I am sorry but we are unable to connect you to this number at this time due to a restriction from the service provider. Please try later. Goodbye**

He's barred my number to his mobile. I sit on the sofa unable to move. I have cried so much my head, throat and chest hurt. It must mean all of it is true. I don't know what to do. I sit and look into space, I stand and pace up and down, I cry and I scream out loud, I put my head in my hands and pull hard at the roots of my hair wanting to pull it all out and all the time I wrestling with the facts in my head.

I am numb and alone again, I have no one and I will now make sure it stays that way because the only person I can trust is me. I make tea and I have no idea where the day has gone. The silence in my house is so deafening that I switch on the TV as a distraction. The early evening news is just finishing.

"And finally, stars of TV and Film were out in force tonight at the UK TV & Film Awards. A full programme can be seen on this channel tomorrow evening but for now we'll leave you with pictures of the stars arriving on the Red Carpet. Goodnight".

And there he is. Harry. He is all suited and booted and smiling into the eyes of the lady on his arm as she whispers in his ear. It's none other than Eden Scott.

I pick up the nearest object to me that happens to be my mobile phone and launch it at the wall. It hits the surface with such force that it bounces off the wall taking my heart with it and smashing into pieces that scatter all over the floor.