What have I missed?

Chapter 23: Begging for forgiveness

Louis' reply to my text came fast, along with over a dozen missed calls. 

Louis: We need to talk

Ashleigh: No we don't. We're finished. I can't trust you. 

Louis: You can't hide from me forever, sooner or later, we will have to talk. 

I didn't reply because I knew he was right. I can hide from him at home, but I have to go school, and it's going to be difficult hiding from him there. I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to hear his pathetic excuses. I can't trust him. 

My mum kept coming in to see me, bringing various snacks, but I wouldn't tell her what was wrong. If I said it out loud, it meant it was true. Louis and Jasmine had kissed, there would be no way of waking up from this nightmare. However, my mum said I could have tomorrow off school so I could avoid Louis for one more day. 

I spent the next day eating comfort food such as a whole tube of barbecue flavour pringles, a bar of galaxy chocolate and a packet of marshmallows, it felt good. But a while later I started to regret it and went for a run. I stopped off for a quick break at Starbucks and when I walked in Jasmine was sat at one of the tables drinking coffee. This girl is everywhere. Out of anyone that could have been here, she is the person i wanted the least. 

I walked up to the front counter and ordered a caramel macchiato and sat down at the opposite end of the coffeehouse to Jasmine. But then she spotted me, smirked and pranced over to my table. Trust my luck.

"Did you enjoy the show last night? I knew he prefered me to you, i mean look at you!"She said and then laughed. I had nothing to say to her, and she just wanted me to fight back, and i'm not going to rise to her level, so I stood up and began to leave.

"Awh is poor little Ashleigh scared of me?" She said and laughed, even louder this time. 

I carried on walking out like she hadn't said anything and walked to the nearby park. I needed some air, I needed to release all the emotions that had built up in me in the past week. I needed to freely let the tears flow. I sat down on the park bench and stared emotionlessly at the sky. No. I wasn't going to cry over him, he wasn't worth my tears. 

I got up and continued my run. As I was putting my headphones in my ears, I didn't notice the man in front of me quick enough to avoid him and collided straight into him. He helped me up then I recognised him, of course, he had to be here. 

"Ashleigh, look we need to talk" 

"No we don't because I have nothing to say to you" I turned my back on him and started walking away.

"Ash please, just give me a chance to explain what you saw, then you can leave. You just have to know my side of the story before you break up with me" He caught up to me and grabbed my wrist, a little to hard.

"It's a bit late because I already broke up with you"I yanked my wrist free of his grasp and rubbed the bruise he had created. 

"Just hear me out!"Louis shouted. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to hear what he had to say, it didn't mean we had to get back together.

"Fine." We took a seat at the bench and I sat as far away from Louis as I could be.

"What you saw, it's not what you think. I was meeting Jasmine there to discuss something. When I asked her what she wanted she leaned over and kissed me. I broke away as soon as I could but you happened to see her kissing me and assumed the worst." This seemed convincing, but why were they there in the first place?

"What did you have to discuss? And by the way, I know about the conversation you two had before school the other day, about her loving you"

"You must not have heard it all, otherwise you wouldn't be asking that question." He was right, Eva said she only heard part of the conversation. 

"What did I miss then?" I said with an unfathomable expression on my face. 

"Well, Jasmine told me that she would do what it takes to have me, she's kind of obsessed with me. Something you don't know is Jasmine's mum is the headmaster at the boarding school your sister is currently at. She threatened that if I didn't break up with you, she would make sure your sister was kicked out of the school! I wasn't going to let that happen, and I couldn't break up with you, so I asked what else I could do, and she told me to meet her at the icecream parlour, and then, you know the rest of the story."

This is all sounded so convincing, but then again, he could just be a really good liar! I pondered on the thought of forgiving him, but I didn't feel ready to just push all my feelings away and go running back to him.

"Please Ashleigh, you know this is the truth, you know it makes sense. I can't live without you just please be my girlfriend again." 

I felt too much pressure acting on me, I couldn't handle all these decisions I had to make. I started to feel dizzy, really dizzy. It was getting progressively harder to stand. I just needed a break, so much was happening in my life. Too much. I just collapsed, and let my dreams take over.