Amber's POV:
I scooped Lilli up out of bed and carried her down the stairs. She wasn't fully awake yet, so she didn't see the colorful tree with all of her presents hiding under it. She rubbed her eyes as I sat her on the bottom step, slipping on her jacket and boots.
"Mommy, where are we going?" I lifted her into my arms again and carried her out the door. I forgot my parents had an alarm system; I disarmed it before I walked out. It was still the same password so I got out with no trouble.
"We just have to take a ride. Okay, Angel?" My mind was moving a mile a minute as I buckled her into her car seat and ran to scrape the ice off of the car. The winter wasn't real bad over here, but the chill in the air was cold enough to freeze everything.
Once the car was good to go, I hopped in and started to drive away. I just so happened to look up at my window, where Liam was peaking out of the shades. I shot him an apologetic smile and pulled out of the driveway. At first I drove around town, trying to figure out who would be open on Christmas morning, this early.
I pulled into the Shop Rite parking lot and carried Lilli in. I bought a dozen red roses then rushed back out to the car. Poor Lilli wasn't even awake yet and I was pulling her all over the place. She asked me where we were going again as I drove through the main road in town.
"We just have to visit someone, Lilli. It's fine." I reached back and rubbed her knee, keeping my eyes on the icy, road. I drove over the railroad tracks, passed the Wawa, passed Madison, made a left, and finally made the second right to turn into the cemetary.
I drove all the way around and parked right in front of the headstone that was in the same path as theirs. I unbuckled Lilli and set her down on the ground. "It's okay, Angel." I grabbed her hand and walked her back to their headstone; she looked a little scared.
I sat down in the frozen grass and patted my lap for Lilli to sit down in; the roses were laying on the ground next to my leg. She ran to me and fell into my arms. Lilli's head rested back on my shoulder as I hugged her as tight as I could. For her sake, I held back my emotions as much as I could.
"Who are we visiting, Mommy?" Her little hands played with the rose petals. I looked at her and a tear fell from my eyes; she might have looked like Niall, but she looked like me too; I saw my Mommom and Ryan in her so much, as well.
"Well this is my Mommom. She was your Mommom's Mommy. And I want you to know that she loves you very much." My core started to shake; I was fighting my sobs as much as I could. I had to be strong for Lilli.
"And this is my Uncle Ryan. And he loves you so much too. You remind me of him sometimes." I pushed her bangs out of her face to reveal her Patterson blue eyes.
She looked over at me and saw me start to cry. "Don't be sad, Mommy." She forced her tired body up off of my leg and hugged me with both of her arms. I held her close and weaped in her arms. I hated to do that to her, but I couldn't fight this anymore.
I didn't want my daughter growing up around me being sad all the time, but how could I not be sad? Hopefully, she'd never have to go through what I did; I was going to try and protect her as much as I could.
Once I calmed down, she set me free. We split up the roses and placed them on the grave; half on Mommom's side and half on Ryan's side. I turned to walk away with my hand out, but I didn't feel Lilli grab it.
"I love you Mommom Diane and Uncle Ryan." I turned around to find her hugged the stone and my heart broke a little more.
"Come on, Angel. Everyone's waiting for us at Mommom and Poppop Bailey's house." We climbed back in the car and I smiled at her through the rear view mirror. "I love you, Pumpkin."
"I love you too, Mommy." I bent my arm back behind the seat to hold her cold hand. I slowly drove out of the cemetary, careful of my surroundings. I still gripped Lilli's hand tight behind the seat, and kept my free hand on the wheel.
I made it all the way to the Wawa parking lot when I saw the headlights. A car was turning down the street and lost control. They slid right into the front of my car on my side; my hand held on for dear life to Lilli as I heard her cry. Everything was moving in slow motion and I remember letting go of the wheel right before the car slammed into us.
I closed my eyes and prayed. Jesus, take the wheel. The car rammed into us and shook my body. I heard the glass shatter and Lilli's screams grow louder. My head thrusted forward and hit into something; everything went dark. Jesus, take the wheel.
