One Big Sweet Mistake

Chapter 19

 When I woke up the next morning, I knew there was something wrong right after I saw Alex lying next to me. I stared at his face, which was so close with mine until I could feel his breath coming out of his nose. My head was spinning and there was nausea feeling in my tummy.

What had happened?

The sunlight shined on the left side of my body through the car window. That was when I realized that I did not wear anything but Alex’s jacket that covered my thighs up to the half of my stomach. Slowly, I gazed down to check my state and found his hands wrapped around my waist. Then the memory started to come back one by one in my mind.

I ate that candy...no, it was drug...then I went crazy...Alex came...I kissed him...wait, what? What did I do? Did I kiss him or did he? Okay, I did first...then I dragged him inside the car fiercely...why the heck I did that?! Never mind. After that...I did not stop kissing him. It was because I suddenly saw Nicholas’ face in front of me, not him. Alex...he was turned on and stripped me off. I could not help but to do the same thing to him. My hand stretched out and I grabbed the bottle next to me which half of its content had spilled everywhere. A thought of hitting Alex’s head with it crossed my mind, but I did not do it and drained the liquid instead. Everything was uncontrolled and both of us went wild. Although I could not see straight anymore, I was able to sense other things clearly. I hated to admit it, but a part of me enjoyed what we did when the other part kept telling me that it was so wrong. That other part was beaten last night by my evil side. Now that the chemical had left my blood vessel...

“You...jerk...” I muttered, enough to wake Alex up. It seemed that he was not aware yet about what happened because he just looked at me without blinking, bewildered.

“Holy shit...” he swore in a low voice as he noticed that our clothes were strewn everywhere, most of them were spread on the front seats. Then he turned back to me, whose expression was as shocked as his.

We screamed loudly at the same time, kicking and pushing each other away.

Please tell me this was just a dream, no, a freaking shitty NIGHTMARE. 

***

I was so effed up, and I mean, literally. What’s worse, I ruined my first with a fourteen year-old teenager who was supposed to be someone I tutored. Not to mention that I babysat his stepsister. Why did this happen to me?

Life sucked.

“I remind you that you attacked me first,” Alex finally said something, after a so damn long awkward silence. It was the real talk we had this morning. I shot him with deadly look from the backseat as I felt the urge of killing him filled up my mind. I sat at the back because I did not want to get any closer to him after what had happened.

“I was under the influence of the pills your friend gave me, you idiot!” I yelled at him.

“Well you didn’t tell me, how the hell would I know? By the way I was a little bit drunk too,” he said, defending himself.

“Oh my God...you raped me...” I muttered. Alex heard me and looked offended.

“What? You were the one who seduced me!”

“It wouldn’t happen if you didn’t take me to the party at the first place!”

“I never asked you to sneak into the car last night!”

“I wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t act so suspiciously!”

“Okay, can we just stop blaming each other? You’re not the one who lost your virginity!”

“At least you’re physically fine right now! It won’t leave you any mark, you moron!”

Alex shut his mouth all at once when he realized that what I said was true. I sunk my face into my knees and sobbed. Even though I did not see it, I was sure Alex was still staring at me through the mirror.

“Um, does it hurt?” he asked hesitantly. Heat of anger and shame crept up my skin. I took off one of my sneakers and hit him on the head.

“Ouch! What’s that for?!” Alex squealed in pain.

“Shut up now! I don’t want to talk to you anymore, ever! EVER! Got it?!”

I was impatient to get out of this damned car right away. The Airplane song which was echoing in my ears did not make me feel any better. I looked outside and saw an airplane up in the air flying to the opposite direction from this moving car where I was sitting. Was that a coincidence? Well, except that it was in the morning now.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.

I wished I could turn back time so that this would never happen.

As soon as we arrived at Alex’s house, I quickly jumped out of the car and walked away. I barely remember where I parked my motorcycle last night. Before I accelerated my steps, I heard Alex mumbled “I’m sorry...” behind me.

It would not fix anything.

***

When I entered my apartment, Joey was not there. He left me a message stuck on the fridge, telling that he went to visit Harold and his wife. Why so sudden? Ugh. Maybe he just ran out of money and Harold never picked up whenever he called, so he decided to meet him directly. It was good, though. Now I did not want to meet anyone. I planned to lock myself in my room and cry out loud all day. But before, there was something important I had to do. I groped inside my bag and took out my phone. There were three missed calls from Nicholas. Dammit. I forgot that he was my boyfriend starting from yesterday. Do you know what the great news was? Technically, I had cheated on him on the first day we went out. How amazing!

I scrolled down my contact list and pushed Gemma’s number.

“Hello, Kelsey? How have you been? Is everything okay?” she asked.

No.  I just slept with your stepson.

“Gemma, I quit.”

“What?”

“I quit, I’m sorry. Please transfer my payment right to my bank account. Thanks.”