One Big Sweet Mistake

Chapter 12

 I check him out from head to toe. The young man who is standing in front of me is definitely Alex I have ever known. Although he has gotten rid of his childish bangs and now the color of his hair is brown, I still recognize those eyes. What does he mean by dyeing his hair like that, trying to look mature, huh? It is useless, for me he is still a fourteen year-old teenager.

“Hi, Kelsey,” Alex says, smiling. I am still shocked of his sudden appearance, thus I don’t reply and stare at him instead. My brain is still processing and choosing how I should react.

“Well, I’m just stopping by.”

He becomes nervous.

“Um, are you busy?” he asks. There is uncomfortable feeling on my neck, because Diana is eavesdropping. It seems like she is curious about what happens between Alex and me. After I finally can collect myself back, I manage to smile and greet him.

“Oh, hi Alex. I think we should find another place to talk.”

“Yeah, I think so.”

I jerk my head and tell him to follow me. We walk side by side in an awkward silence and stop at a coffee shop. I am quite surprised when he orders iced dark coffee instead of smoothie. Well, he has grown up.

“How are you?” he asks, trying to start a conversation.

“Fine. You?”

“Good.”

“It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, almost eight years. That’s sure long.”

Then there is silence again. I do not know what to talk and he looks confused either. Thank God, our orders come. I grab my mug and play with the straw. He also does the same thing and does not drink it. I know that both of us are actually not thirsty or anything. Coffee is just a camouflage to keep us busy with ourselves, to make it easier for not saying anything. After a long ten minutes, I encourage myself to bring up a chat.

“So, Alex, what are you doing here?” I ask, trying to sound casual. He looks relieved that I finally break the ice.

“Well, I’m attending a friend’s wedding. It’s going to be held tomorrow, so I have nothing to do today and decided to visit you. Just wanna say hi.”

Wedding. I suddenly remember that when I was a little girl I dreamed a lot about my perfect wedding with a prince charming. The image of my dad walking me to the aisle always made me smile. It was before the crash which took him away happened. It is not important anymore at the moment, though. I have Elsa and I could not ask for more. She is my everything.

“Ah. So I’m just something to fill your empty schedule.”

“No, it’s not like that.”

“How did you find me?”

“I googled you.”

“You what?”

I cannot hide my surprise when he says he googled me. I mean, did he really type my name in the search box? Seriously? After all, I work in a newspaper. I guess it is not difficult to find my name in the internet since I write a lot of articles on our website.

“Kelsey, listen, my main purpose of being here is...I want to apologize.”

“Apologize for what? Come on, Alex. Can we just not talking about that?”

“I can’t. It haunts me every day. I wish I...”

“Please stop it. It’s just...a big mistake we did in the past. Everyone has past and it’s time to move on.”

I give him a stern look. I hope he understands that I do not want to talk about that. Alex sighs and stares blankly at the window.

“Did we...do the right thing?” he mutters. No, no. I have to get out of there immediately before we start to talk further. I am afraid that I will tell him about the secret I have been hiding all this time.

“I’m sorry, I have to go to work now or my boss will fire me,” I say as I seize my purse and stand up. Before I push the door, I turn to him and ask,

“Alex?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think that...it would be different if she was here?”

“Or he.”

“Yeah, he or she. Whatever.”

“I don’t know. Probably.”

“Bye Alex”

I walk fast to my office and go straight to the woman’s rest room. As I close the toilet door, I burst into tears. I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sorry you don’t know that she even exists.