One Big Sweet Mistake

Chapter 26

Sighing, I set my foot on the asphalt and take a glance at the rearview mirror just to see my tired face which already has some wrinkles, especially around my eyes. Gosh, I am getting old fast. I grope inside my handbag and take out my cosmetic box. Alex and I has agreed to meet at a college bar, thus I do not want to look like an old hag in the middle of the youngsters.

Even though I graduated only three years ago, somehow it feels so long. Probably because, unlike other college students, I did not have much time for hanging out with friends. It was even hard just to focus on my study since my little baby needed attention at the same time. I remember that I ever went to class carrying Elsa because my brother was out of town and nobody could look after her. I kept telling everyone that she was my niece to avoid further question and judgmental opinion. It was a tough time that I barely miss my college life.

After applying powder recklessly all over my face, I straighten my clothes up and walk towards the door. The weather is fine and warm, so I just wear a plain black baby tee shirt, jeans mini skirt, plus a pair of wedges. I let my long brown hair fall loosely upon my shoulders. I hope I look okay.

“Kelsey.”

I turn around as someone pokes me from behind. Like I have predicted, Alex is standing in front of me. He looks good in dark blue shirt with a ‘pi’ symbol on it and grey jeans.

“Hi Alex.”

I smile awkwardly at him. He returns my smile and leads me to the table.

“What do you want to drink?” he asks, scanning through the menu list.

“Please give us two glasses of iced tea,” I tell the waitress who passes us by. Alex raises his hand to call the waitress back, but I stop him.

“No alcohol. We don’t want to do the same mistake, do we?” I grin at Alex, who chuckles and immediately put the menu back on the table.

“Okay, so...you can explain it to me now,” he says, crossing his arms. Suddenly his expression turns serious. I clear my throat and start to speak.

“The little girl you met at the mall...well, she’s my daughter.”

“You mean ours?”

“Biologically, yes.”

“What’s her name?”

“Elsa.”

“That’s a nice name.”

“Yeah, I guess so. At first my brother wanted to name her Jasper. He always thought she was a boy.”

“Has she ever asked about me?”

“Yes, several times.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I said you lived abroad.”

“Does she believe it?”

“I don’t know. I always change the subject so that she stops asking.”

Our eyes are locked for long seconds. Honestly, I am quite surprised of his calmness. I was expecting him to shriek or something, but no. He just gives me that I-knew-it look.

“Then...what do we do now?” he asks in a low voice. I frown, for I do not get what he means.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, now that I know I have a daughter, what do you expect me to do, Kelsey? Do what I’m supposed to do as a dad?”

“What? Relax; I don’t want you to do anything. You can’t just pop out without freaking her out. Listen, Elsa and I are fine and you can have your own life.”

“Then where’s my responsibility? I don’t want to be a jerk who only acts as a sperm donor and neglects my daughter,” he raises his voice up.

“Face it, Alex. I have taken care of Elsa by myself all this time. Basically, you don’t exist in her life. That’s the truth,” I say, staring straight at his eyes. Alex looks confused. He scratches his hair and stutters,

“No, it can’t be like that...it’s not right. I still have to do something.”

“Something like what, marry me and live with us as a family? Are you ready for that? Do you even love me, I mean, us?”

The questions I ask are rhetorical. The answer is just crystal clear: No. He is not ready for anything. This guy does not know what he wants and he cannot think straight. This thing is more complicated than it seems.

“We can’t live together, Alex. We  never  love each other that way,” I continue. Alex ducks his head, still say nothing.

 All of a sudden, a strikingly gorgeous girl approaches our table in hurry. Her fifteen centimeters high heels cause an attention catching sound as she is stepping. My eyes widen as I notice who she is.

“Alex, what are you doing here? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

She throws herself in his arms and plants him a smooch on his lips before he even answers. The girl turns to me and squints.

“Oh, my God. Are you...”

“Yes, I’m Kelsey Jensen. Your brother’s...ex. It’s been a while, Madison.”

Madison looks at me in dislike. No wonder, I am sure that she is not a big fan of me after what I have done to Nicholas long time ago.

“We need to talk,” she says firmly to Alex and drags him out. I say “Go on” but she seems to ignore me. I wait there patiently while they are arguing behind the door. Well, I hope I do not ruin their relationship. After ten minutes or so, Alex comes back in without Madison.

“Sorry for the interruption,” he says awkwardly.

“It’s okay. So...are you two going out?”

“Sort of.”

“Wow. For seven years? I’m impressed.”

“Not really. We’ve broken up for like eleven times, but somehow it always ends with kiss and make up.”

“Then why did you ask me out a few days ago? You didn’t plan to cheat on her, did you?” I smirk, teasing him. Alex becomes nervous and it makes me want to laugh.

“I...I did ask whether you had a free time, but it didn’t mean that it was going to be a date. I was just...”

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to be panic like that,” I chuckle. “by the way it’s almost midnight. I think I have to go now.” I excuse myself.

“Let me walk you to the car,” Alex says, offering his hand. I reach it out and smile. The distance from the entrance to my jeep feels so far because we are walking in silence.

“Are you sure you’re going to drive to New York at this hour?” Alex asks as we arrive at the parking lot, worried.

“Yeah. No need to worry, I’ll have a safe trip,” I say, opening the door and put my bag inside.

“Can I meet Elsa, someday?” Alex asks hesitantly. I smile at him and answer,

“Of course, whenever you feel like it. But please...don’t rush to tell her that you’re her dad. At least we have to wait until she’s mature enough to understand.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I got it. Anyway, I’m sorry about Madison.”

“No problem. You don’t have to feel guilty or anything. Just for your information, I’m kind of seeing someone too.”

“You are?” Alex raises his eyebrows. I nod my head and hop in the car.

“See you later, Kels,” Alex says, waving his hand.

“See you later,” I reply and turn on the machine. I cannot wait to get home and hug Elsa. I miss her so much.