My story, My mistakes, My broken Heart

To the readers, the final thoughts.

Dear Readers, 

First off I want to thank those of you that have read this entire little series, I know that my entries were short, and at times full of mistakes. It means a lot to me that you read it though. I ended the series the way I did because I felt like the last part of the story was better told myself, from my heart and not a work of fiction. This story has helped me so much in looking back and working through some of the things I have encountered because of this romance and love I fell into. I didn't look at all the consequences, and thought that I was bullet proof. Well I have learned my lesson no matter what you aren't bullet proof pregnancy can happen to anyone if your not careful. What did I do I am sure your all curious. So here it is the final piece to the story.

Well as you read, I fell for "Mike" fast, and even though he was controlling and our relationship was full of red flags, I chose to ignore those things out of love. I found out however that love didn't mean a whole lot. I can not be sure if "Mike" ever loved me, or if it was all a game to him. In the story I made him out to be nicer then he actually was, but in reality he never let me out of his site, and the very mention of "bryan" would send us into a fight. He did take very good care of me, and was a true gentleman at times, but I fear that it was all an act. After I called things off, and went to the doctor to confirm I really was pregnant, I had went to the track with my uncle, only to be confronted by him. He yelled and called me a slut informing my friends and family who where there at the time that I had been sleeping with him. I was devastated that he would go for such a low blow. But as to what you really want to know. Did I have an abortion, yes I did, and before you judge, or think I am supporting the idea here are a few things to keep in mind.

1. Each situation is different, I was anti- abortion until faced with the choice. If I kept my baby I would have been faced with a daily reminder of what "Mike" did to me. Very possibly I may have resented the child.

2. I couldn't financially take care of a child, and while adoption is always the best option, I knew that I couldn't bear to carry a child for 7 more months, and give it up.

3. I have health concerns, that caused me to believe I couldn't get pregnant, and may not have allowed me to carry the baby to full term.

4. While I do not regret my choice I live with this everyday. Every baby I see I wonder, What would my baby look like, Would it have been a boy or a girl. Could I have actually raised a child.

5. Abortion isn't an easy option. It is painful, and the emotional issues are hard. Before you make this choice, think about it. Could something else be a better option.

I still struggle with this daily, but it is getting better, and I know that for me I made the right choice. My hope though is that other girls get out before they are in my position. If you think you are being used for sex, get out! You probably are. And if you sexually active, use a condom, and be on birth control. Don't take a chance, believe me it isn't worth it. I am always open to talk, I could go on and on forever, and answering specific questions is so much easier. I do hope that you enjoyed a peek into the past few months of my life, and I thank you for sticking with it.

Always your author,

Christin