The Lost Glader || A TMR Fanfiction

Chapter 19 || Pain

As my eyes fluttered open, a felt a brief moment of peace, happiness, and then it all came flooding back. Images of Ben's body hitting the floor, his eyes staring lifelessly off into the distance, flashed through my brain.

I don't know how I was able to sleep through the night, maybe I was just too exhausted from crying. But the light streaming through my window, revealed that I had slept in much later than the norm.

Taking a shower helped. Letting the water run down my body, soothed me. I liked to imagine all of my worries just sweeping down the drain, if only it were that easy.

It wasn't much longer before I was sitting on the porch of the Homestead, lazily watching the other Gladers do their duties. "So, can I talk to you now?" I watched as Newt sat down beside me and I sighed. "About what?"
"I know what you're thinking..." I scoffed. "What are you a mind reader now?" I said sarcastically and he groaned. "I don't have to be a mind reader to know you're blaming yourself for Ben's death."

I pressed my lips together. "Yeah... And I know you're going to try and tell me it's not. But look at the evidence! Ben got stung saving me! You can't tell me that if you weren't in my position you wouldn't have felt the same way." Newt sighed. "And you can't tell me that you wouldn't be trying to convince me it wasn't my fault as well." I looked away, I knew he was right.

"You know... If Alby actually trusted me Ben wouldn't have even been there!" Newt gave me a confused expression. "What are you talking about?" He asked. "Alby still doesn't trust me, so when Minho got sick, made me be with Ben so I wasn't in there alone." Newt looked away and sighed. "Those orders didn't come from Alby..."

My eyes got wide and I looked at him shocked. "You? You don't trust me to be out there either?" Newt quickly shook his head looking at me. "That's not what happened! Of course I trust you!"
"So why'd you tell Minho not to let me be alone?" He ran his tongue over his lips, trying to decide what to say. "I just... I wanted you to be safe. And you would be with Ben."

I stood up, anger building in my chest. "What! You don't think I can take care of myself? That I need someone to protect me! I'm not some damsel in distress!" I yelled crossing my arms, ignoring the looks I was beginning to get from others nearby.

"Nikki, you have to understand, it's not that I don't think you can't take of yourself. But you're also safer not being alone out there. Anything can happen! If Ben wasn't there, you would have been the one that got stung and you wouldn't have made it back." Newt stood up as well and I clenched my jaw.  "Ugh please! I've been doing this klunk for almost two years, and suddenly I get here with a bunch of guys and you don't think I'm strong enough! Sure, I would have expected this from other people, but not you!"

With those words spoke, I turned on my heels, ready to storm off, but froze when my eyes caught sight a group of people coming out of the deadheads. "No way..." I whispered as I watched Ben, be escorted out of the cover of the trees by two Baggers. He was alive. The how was a mystery, seeing the arrow partly broken, but still a huge part of it remained imbedded in his face.

Newt stepped up next to me, his expression equally shocked. "I can't believe it." He mumbled and I felt myself nod as the Baggers herded Ben towards the Homestead, towards us.

As they got closer I took a step forward. "Ben?" I said and he quickly looked over at me. "Nicole! I... I didn't mean to I..." Before he could continue one of the Baggers pushed him forward. "Hey keep going!" I watched as they pushed him inside and for the first time I realized I was holding in my breath.

"I should go with them." Newt said turning to go inside as well. "Wait!" I called and he looked back at me. "What's going to happen to him?" I asked and he looked away a soft sigh leaving his lips. "I don't know yet."