"NO!" I shouted standing up. "No! No! I'm not! I'm fine!" Anger just exploded inside of me. I noticed everyone around us turn to face me. Josh flinched and I saw the hurt in his eyes. It broke my heart and made me wanted to cry even more. I probably looked a complete mess. I grabbed my bag off the table and ran round the corner of the building to an enclosed dead end where I couldn't be found. I threw myself down into the grass and cried. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hid my face. My face stung from the tears. I could hear josh approaching calling my name. He stopped dead in his track when he saw me. The look of pity and guilt took over his face.
"Lauren...?" He started.
"....Help me." I just about managed to say through tears.
He immediately dropped to my side and wrapped his arms around my body. I turned round and cried into his shoulder. He soothingly rubbed my back and told me he was there for me.
"I need help Josh. I've taken everything too far. I can't do it on my own. I always try to sort everything out myself without asking for help but I always ending up making everything worse. I can't do it" I trembled.
"I'll help you Lauren. No matter what it is, I'll always help you." He replied releasing from the hug.
He gently reached for my arm that had been laid on my lap. He then carefully undone my bracelets to reveal my bloodied scar. Tears started to well up my eyes again.
"Why did you do it?" He asked sorrowfully making eye contact.
I explain the situation with Dre and how awkward it was. I told him how alone I felt with no family. I poured my heart out to him and he listened. It felt good to get it off my chest.
"It's just like one minute I'm happy, then the next I want to break down in tears. I don't know what to do. And doing this to myself?" I raised my arm slightly. "It was just in the spur of the moment. I don't even know why I did it. But it felt better. I know it's wrong but...I don't know.." I sighed.
"Oh Lauren. You know...." He started to reply before he was interrupted by the school bell. I bit my lip subconsciously. The last thing I wanted to do was to go back into class after this. Josh noticed this and said "let's go."
"Go where?" I asked.
"I don't know, let's just go. Then we can talk properly"
"Won't we get in trouble?"
"Well you don't wanna be here and neither do I. It's only 2 lessons." He stood up and held out a hand to help me up.
We both weren't the type of people that go off to bunk lessons but he was right. Getting away from here would make me feel better. I stood up, took the tissue josh offered me from his hands, wiped my eyes and took his hand as he guided me out the school.
