Alexithymia

That

The way he looks at her
Breaks my heart
Yet fills it at the same time
The way he protectively hold her close
Makes me cringe
Yet smile at the same time
The way he kisses her
With so much passion and love
Makes me sad
Yet whimsical at the same time
Maybe it's because I enjoy the sight of love
But have never experienced it
I'm happy for them
Yet my heart deeply longs
For someone to hold me in his arms
Kiss me deeply
Love me passionately
Never let me go
And my heart breaks into a million prices because no matter how hard I look
I just can't seem to find a love like that
For myself
And I want it
So desperately
But I don't have it
And everyone else does
And I ask myself
What's wrong with me
What do I not have
What am I not doing
Why can't I have a love like that
Why doesn't someone look at me
The way he looks at her
Why can't someone hold me
The way he holds her
Why can't my lips feel a kiss
Why can't I be held
Why can't I be looked at
Why doesn't anyone like me like
That
That passion
That love
The burning desire in me
Cannot be quenched
Until one day I find that love