Act Naturally

Don't Tell John

YEAR: 1975

"Mum!" the boys called.
"Hold on!" I yelled back as I started feeding Lee.
"Mum!" they continued yelling.
"Richie get the kids!"
"Lucy," he whined, "ye know I'm sick,"
"I don't give a rats ass! Get them!" As everyone yelled, Lee began crying. "Oh my god," I sighed as I tried soothing her. Then the doorbell rang. "Jesus H Christ, what now?" I complained as I answered the door. "What do ye want Ellie?" I groaned, still trying to sooth Lee.
"I was in the neighborhood...was wonderin if ye wanted to go for a walk..."
"Mum!" The boys kept yelling.
"I'd love to go for a walk," I sighed, walking back inside for Lee's stroller and bag. "I need to get away from this house for like an hour," I groaned.
"I feel ye. Mike is drivin me crazy," she said as we started walking with our kids.
"So how do ye like bein a mum?" I teased.
"I'm not the one walkin out on half of my kids," she smirked.
"They fight so much," I sighed, "They're just at that age I guess,"
"I'm dreading them fighting," Ellie twisted her face.
"Hey, we shouldn't be complainin, Michelle has it worse,"
"I know, poor thing,"
"So have ye told John yet?"
"God no!"
"Good," I pursed my lips. "Hey...do ye wanna stop by that park?"
"I could sit," she chuckled.

We walked about another block or so before we got to the park. We brought our kids under a nice shady tree where we took them our of their strollers and relaxed. Lee sat on my lap and fiddled with my thumbs while Eleanor's kids, Violet and Kit, sat on the ground and leaned against her.

"They look so different," I shook my head. "Does Mike ever comment on their looks?"
"He's a guy, he doesn't notice,"
"Which one do ye think is John's?"
"Why do ye keep bringin John up? He's never gonna find out! I'm never gonna shag him again! Stop fuckin talkin about it!"
"I will not stop talkin about it because I know yer gonna do it again!"
"Ye know nothing!"
"Ellie, ye said ye were never gonna shag him again after the first time ye got pregnant-"
"Then I had a miscarriage!"
"I think that first time was the universe tellin ye stop fuckin John before ye actually have a baby. Ye didn't listen and now look at ye!"
"Fuck off!"
"Ellie ye don't understand, ye never have," I sighed. "All I've ever tried to do was protect ye from messing up yer life like this but ye never listened," my eyes started watering. "Can I tell ye somethin I could never tell Richie," I sighed.
"Go ahead,"
"I didn't want a daughter," I admitted.
"Why not?"
"I couldn't show ye right from wrong, a woman 2 years younger than me. How the hell am I suppose to show her right from wrong,"
"Do ye think she's gonna end up like me?" Eleanor cried. "Lucy...yer a wonderful mother, she's gonna be the farthest thing from me!"
"Ye don't know that..."
"Yer right...I don't. But I do know, that yer more of a mother than I'll ever be. I have more of a right to be scared that my daughters gonna be the local whore than you do. I know that if Lee ends up as a street walker, you'll pick her up, off the street and bring her home then smack some sense into her,"
"Thanks El..." I mummered. "That means a lot," I smiled.
"Anytime," she smiled back.
"Vi, isn't gonna be a whore," I pat the infants head.
"So how are the boys?"
"Noisy," I rolled my eyes.
"Do ye ever think about leavin?"
"No," I shrugged, "Do you?"
"Sometimes..."
"Why?"
"Too stressful," she mumbled.
"Stressful my ass. Yer a mother ye have to deal with shit like this,"
"I was never meant to be a mother,"
"What were ye meant to be? A whore?" I joked.
"Shut up," she chuckled. "Well...yeah actually," she chuckled. "I thought I'd be a trophy wife, getting everythin I ever wanted. Not workin a shit job with two little lumps of life,"
"You'll learn to love them," I smiled as I bounced Lee up and down on my lap.
"Lucy Campbell is that you?" she joked.
"Lucy Campbell died years ago," I smiled.
"How long ago?"
"Oh I don't know...when did I start goin by Lucy Starkey?"
"Late '60s,"
"There ye go,"
"15 years ago, if I told ye you'd be the way ye are, you'd call me crazy,"
"Yer right, I would. God I hated children,"
"Not just that, married to another man,"
"Don't." I pursed my lips.
"I thought you'd be over it by now,"
"If John died, would ye ever get over it?"
"No..."
"Exactly," I got up and put Lee back in her stroller. "Never bring Mark up again,"
"Sorry..."
"I gotta go,"
"I'll walk ye home," she got up as well and put her children into their stroller.

We walked back to my house in silence. I could feel Ellie glaring at me from time to time but I just ignored it.

"Wanna come in for some tea?" I offered.
"Sure," she shrugged.
"Come on then," I let her in. "I'm home!" I yelled as I put Lee's stroller away.
"Where were ye?" Ringo asked.
"I went for a walk," I mumbled, setting Lee down on her play mat.
"Ye should've told me. I was worried sick!"
"I know, I'm sorry. The boys were drivin me crazy, I just had to step out for an hour,"
"I wish I could've joined ye," he chuckled.
"Yer annoyed too?" Ellie asked.
"I'm sick, I've got a migraine, I could've used a nice walk,"
"Ye should be in bed," I teased. "Plus, we were talkin about girl things,"
"I like hearing about girl things," he joked.
"Oh shut up " I chuckled as I made Ellie a tea.
"Really, what were ye girls talkin about?"
"Kids," I mumbled.
"Ye want more?" he raised a brow.
"God no! Three is enough!"
"Then what?"
"We were talkin about Violet and Kit,"
"Why?"
"I'll only tell ye cause yer hopped up on pain killers," I glanced over at Ellie, "one of them isn't Mike's,"
"What do ye mean?"
"One of them belongs to John," I whispered in his ear.
"Really?" he gasped.
"Now why would ye tell him that?"
"He's too high to remember anythin," I rolled my eyes.
"Does he know?"
"No. And don't tell him! As far as the world knows, John only has two kids, Julian and Sean. Are we clear love?"
"Crystal."