Forbidden Dedication

Chapter 9: Harmoni

I pulled on a short black dress and let my hair down so it fell round my face, it was slightly more curled than usual. I thought of apologising. to River for how I acted, but I'm scared. What if he hurts me again? I wanted to look as pretty as possible, I'm not even too sure why. I thought I was still mad at him, evidently not. I walked out the house and down the road. I was wearing black studded stilettos, I had them as a birthday present a few years ago, this is the first time I've worn them since my mom's birthday party a few months before she died.

I arrived at Rivers house and figured on this one occasion I could just walk straight in. As soon as I entered and closed the door behind me I was bombarded with guys twice the size of me. "Who invited the quiet one?!" One of them asked.

"Actually, River did. So if you'll excuse me." I told them, walking past them. I noticed a girl standing in the corner of the room, looking like she had been crying, I started walking up to her. "Hey, are you okay? You look pretty upset?"

"Yeah I'll be fine. My boyfriend broke up with me recently and I hoped I could get him back tonight.. Apparently not..." She told me, beginning to cry. I pulled her into a hug and allowed her to cry. "Do you go to our school?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"He does though."

"Who was it? If you don't mind me asking?" She let out a sigh, hesitating, deciding whether to tell me or not. "I-It was River." I felt my heart drop. "River White..." She told me, I must have looked confused. How could this be? I thought he was 'in love' with me! "H-How long was that going on? And when?! If you don't mind me asking..." I said, realising I had started to yell.

"We were together just over 2 months and he dumped me not too long ago, maybe two or three weeks ago."

"That bitch." I cursed to my face.

"What did you say to me?" She asked, confused. I just ignored her and ran up the stairs and into his room. It was dark but I could hear a slight weeping. "I know you're in here. Get out here! NOW!" I yelled, knowing he was here. There was no movement at all, but the noise carried on. I turned the light on and gasped at the sight.

"River?!" I practically yelled in his direction, trying to avoid looking at him. The sight was almost unbearable! Seeing him in that much pain?! I didn't know what to do or what was even happening!? He started crying even louder, holding onto his blood stained arm. I could see the mark he had made on his arm, it went almost from hand to elbow. I ran out of the room and into the nearest bathroom to get a cloth, I soaked the corner with water and ran back into him, pressing it against his arm. ""R-River, why would you do this to yourself?!"

"Harmoni, I don't want to live without you. I thought this was going to be the end for me. I can't stand the thought of you hating me, this seemed like the only alternative. Harmoni I'm in love with you! Kara means nothing to me. You're the only one I need in my life. Please find it in your heart to forgive me?" I allowed a tear to roll down my face as I wiped them away from his face. "River... I've always been here. The amount of times I've walked out and came back. Why do you think I've done that?! Because you're the only one for me! River White. I am in love with you. I always have been." I took a deep breath and waited for him to calm down slightly. "River... I have something to show you..." I took a deep breath and revealed the insides of my arms to him. I looked down at them while listening to his breathing speeding up."You don't need to be ashamed." I told him, he pulled the cloth out of my hand and pulled me into a hug with his other arm. "But I also don't want to rush things... If we're ever going to have a chance, I don't see us working if we rush. Please give me time to think about what I really want?" I asked him. He just nodded at me.

"River, what is taking you so long up here!?-" We looked up and saw Kara standing at the door. "What is this!?" She paused and looked at River. "Babe, what the hell happened?!" I felt my stomach turn with regret... "B-babe?" I asked, turning to look at River.

"No, no! It's not what you think! We broke up! I broke up with her! For you!" I desperately wanted to stand up and walk away, but I knew there was no point. I knew I would be back the next day.

"Is this true?" I turned, looking at her. "Did he break up with you?"

"Well, yes. H-he didn't say it was because he wanted to be with someone else..." She spoke, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. Before we knew it she had ran out the door. "Harmoni, I swear! It was over ages ago! I only want you! I only need you!" I took a deep breath and pulled him into a hug.

"I've lost too many people that mean the world to me, River. I'm not going to let you be just another memory." I told him. I felt him smile, his face touching mine. I smiled back, never wanting to let go...

"Harmoni?"

"Yes?"

"Please...Please stay here tonight? It can be in any room you want, it can even be downstairs. Just, please stay? So I know you won't hurt yourself..." I smiled, thinking of the irony. It wasn't me that needed protecting this time.

I took a deep breath. I lifted his hand up and placed a small kiss on it. "I can be here for as long as you want me to be."

*

The next morning I woke up in a bed in a room I had never been in before. I got out of the bed and remembered the events of last night. I forced myself not to cry as I walked towards the door. I stopped and looked at some of the pictures that were on the table in there. I recognised a picture of his Father, and a picture of River with a girl? She only looked young in the picture, River must have been around fourteen, maybe fifteen. I assumed it was his cousin or something and went downstairs. The hallway was pretty much full of people who had passed out or fell asleep after last nights party. I started kicking them gently, telling them to wake up. Pretty soon they all started moving. I went into the kitchen and took a couple of bags out of the cupboard to start putting rubbish in.

Almost two hours later, pretty much all the rubbish had gone, everyone had left and I was beginning to hear River coming down the stairs. I looked at his arm and saw he had bandaged it to help the healing. "Harmoni, you didn't have to do all this! It was my party, I could've done this." He told me, noticing how much I had tidied up. "It's no trouble, you let me stay here the night, so it's the least I could do." I told him with a smile.   He just smiled at me and went into the kitchen to make coffee.

There was something about him that made me happy, something about him that made me know I needed to be with him. Almost as if, a part of me was always missing until I found him. I know we have argued, almost non stop! But it doesn't come close to how much I think I love him.