One That Got Away

Chapter 7

The Twins were setting the table and Fili and Kili were washing dishes and putting them away, humming as they worked. Andy had started breakfast, dressed in a simple white blouse and a knee-length grey skirt. David had gone to get some butter from the neighbors and Thorin and Mara hadn't come down yet. The Twins were talking in their own language and the Boys were having a silent conversation of their own, both about the same thing. What Thorin would do to them when he finally came downstairs? With the sound of laughter Mara ran through the kitchen into into the TV room, a blur of blue hair and black tank-top. Thorin charged after her, vowing revenge on her house. Her laughter was the only response. The Boys were frozen and Andy sighed in resignation.

"Well looks like I'm going to have to fight the testosterone alone," she said in her rolling voice.

"What do you mean, Andy?" said the Twins as one, poking their heads into the galley kitchen.

"She's not sticking around for much longer. She's in love and she'll be going with him when he leaves," she explained. The Twins shared a look, then retched loudly. Andy laughed. "Go set the table, you two," and the Twins disappeared again. David came back in with a stick of butter looking angry.

"He tried to get me to sell Maranda to him. Sell Maranda! Honestly it's a miracle I don't call the cops on him," he growled. Andy took the butter and kissed his cheek quickly.

"No. Just me. You love me so much you'll let him be a rat bastard," she said calmly and he sighed as he scooped up the cup of coffee on the table.

"Yeah...you," he said with far-away eyes, looking at her. She kissed him again and Fili and Kili shared a look then stifled their laughter. Mara swept through again, this time singing loudly about Men on the moon and Dwarves in the stars. Thorin ran after her growling playfully. David bristled and Andy slapped him with the wooden spoon covered in half scrambled egg.

"Leave them."

"He's chasing her!"

"You chase me all the time."

"They're not married!"

"I thought you were engaged?" Kili but in, trying to draw attention away from Thorin. Andy stopped moving and nodded.

"We've been engaged for four years," she resumed cooking. "It qualifies even if we haven't gone through with the ceremony." Fili nodded in thought while Kili frowned. The Twins were planning on spiking the orange juice when Ben screamed and Tom almost wet his pants. A deep growling sound came from behind him and he cried out for mercy from God. David ran into the room to find Mara wrestling with Ben on the floor as the white haired twin wailed for help from his family as Tom sat on his knees praying while Thorin covered his face and shook with laughter. David might as well have been a porcupine he bristled so hard. Andy stopped him with a single look though, and Kili ran to Tom's aid while Fili dove into battle with Mara and Ben

"Run!" cried Kili once the Twins were free and they took off through the house. While David complained and Andy cooked and blocked his arguments, the Twins and Boys tried desperately to keep away from their crazy Uncle and Sister.

"Breakfast!" cried Andy and a clean white t-shirt was thrown into the midst of the hunt, forcing everyone down to breakfast, red faced and smiling. David was fuming at how ridiculous they all acted and Andy was carefully holding the peace. After several minutes of silently stuffing faces, everyone slowed down enough to realize David was part Dragon. He looked ready to breathe fire right at Thorin's face at any moment.

"Yes?" said Thorin in a firm voice and David opened his mouth to unleash his fury when a banana found it's way inside his face.

"A word, David," said Mara in a cold tone and the Twins flinched. Even Andy looked worried. David followed his sister into the living room and closed the door. Loud shouting followed. It was distorted from the door but the gist was clear. Mara was angry, David was on the defense, she hit him at some point and the banana found its way onto the window. The door opened and David slumped into his chair while Mara started clearing dishes.

"Don't worry about that, Mara," Kili said standing slowly.

"Yes. We'll clean up," Fili offered and twin cheshire grins sneaked onto their faces. Mara froze then looked at David, then the grin slipped onto her face.

"Catch," and she tossed the plates to the boys. The Twins screamed and dove under the table and Andy almost had a heart attack. David almost passed out and Thorin grabbed a flying saucer before it smashed into the wall. At what point in time Fili and Kili taught Mara how to clean up a mess in Khazad fashion was beyond him, but she knew it just as well as any of them and the whole thing was up and away in a matter of minutes. It would have been faster if Thorin deigned to engage, but he thought it best to just make sure the four Humans didn't die.

When the three troublemakers returned to their seats, all looking overly pleased with themselves, Thorin let a smile slip across his face. Fili fell out of his seat in shock and the Twins peeked out from under the table. Kili shot Fili a looked of triumph and Fili only grinned.

"What's so funny?" asked the Twins as one.

"After all this time, she can still make him smile," KIli explained in a happy voice. Mara blushed and punched his arm as Thorin glowered over the table.

"Atkat," he mumbled as David bristed.

"Alright, what exactly went on between you guys in the week-"

"Years-"

"-you were gone?" demanded the oldest son. Mara sighed and started unbraiding her blue hair.

"Well there was some accidental flirting..." she said and Thorin looked at the ceiling, remembering his botched attempts to woe her.

"Uhuh," David said narrowing his eyes.

"And we fought. A lot," she glanced at Thorin and he shrugged slightly. The Misty Mountains were hard, and so was when he was sick.

"Yes," David said, his tone demanded more information.

"I helped him deal with political issues," she avoided the question. Thorin had to chew on the inside of his cheek as Fili and Kili coughed.

"Yeah and?"

"And," she glanced at Thorin for help and he sighed and nodded slightly. "We kissed...like once...and he proposed to me." The table was jolted and landed after it's moment in air, startling everyone in their seats. David had stood up so quickly he almost flipped the table which was now slightly crooked and unstable.

"He what!?" he howled and Thorin raised his hands in peace. Here was a very angry man with hair like rubies, and if he had learned anything from knowing Gloin for thirty years, it was that gingers were not to be taken lightly.

"David, stop it," snapped Mara.

"No, you stop it. Who is this guy? That was all your brain! You were dysfunctional!" David stopped dead as Andy cursed crudely under her breath. The Twins shrunk back under the table as Mara stared in shock at her brother.

"I'm dysfunctional? I'm dysfunctional! This family is dysfunctional! Our dad is dead! Mom is the crazy fortune teller woman in New Orleans who reads palms and tells tall tales. We can't talk to her anymore because the FBI has her as a person of interest. The Twins have psychotic breaks and separation anxiety. They can't live on their own. You've been taking the same courses in medical school for three years now because you can't pass and you're engaged to a transvestite you can't marry because it's illegal! We play at bars and clubs on the low because we can't pay for food otherwise! I can't hold a job and suffer from chronic depression. I may be dysfunctional, but at least I'm not in denial!"

"Maranda-"

"Come on Thorin." She snapped, cutting off David and dragging Thorin from the house. The sound of the door slamming was rather final.