Tronnor - For Him

7

He didn't say it back.

Does he even love me?

Whatever. There will be time to figure that out later. But now...

"Mmm..." We smile, still kissing. My hands slip under his shirt, running lightly over his chest. He shivers, and worried that I've gone to far, I pull away immediately.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine," he laughs lightly as we stand. In his eyes, there's something confusing...is it...guilt? What would he have to be guilty for? Is he keeping a secret?

"Let's go inside. Grab a drink or two. I'm so glad you aren't mad anymore."

His fist clenches and my heart stops for a second. Is he still mad? He can't be...we just kissed!

"I was never mad, Tro Tro. I just...I'm just sad."

I nod and reach for his hand, smiling when he takes it. We walk back inside together.

+++

"Let's play Truth or Dare!" Zoe squeals, gathering everyone to the living room where we sit in a circle on the floor.  Connor is sat across from me, talking to Ricky, but I can't keep my eyes off him.

Everyone's pretty drunk by now. Our words are slurred, and most of our sentences don't even make sense. So this will be...interesting.

"I'll start!" Caspar yells. Just his voice makes me tremble as I think of our past. He turns to Joe, who's sitting next to him.

"Joe, truth or dare?"

"Um...truth."

"If you were gonna turn gay for any guy here, who would it be?"

Joe looks around the circle, swallowing. "I guess it would be Marcus. Or Connor."

Caspar frowns and leans his head on the other boy.

"I thought it be meee, Joe Boe. I mean nothing to youu?"

Joe pushes Caspar off him, blushing. "Caspy you're too annoying me, mate."

"Come onnn, you know it be me. I wanna hear you say."

Joe rolls his eyes. "Fineee, you're soo annoyingg."

Satisfied, Caspar finally sits up off his friend. Those two are really something.

Unfortunately one of them's a jerk.

A few more turns take place, in which Zoe licks Alfie's foot, Tyler dances outside in just his boxers for a solid 5 minutes, and Marcus attempts to sing America's National Anthem. He gets maybe four words right.

Eventually, it's Ricky's turn, and he turns to Connor. "Connor, truth or darrr," he laughs, and Connor smirks.

"Dare."

"Okayy, I dare you to take your shirt off, leave it off for rest of the gameeee."

Connor laughs awkwardly. "Thirsty much?" But he pulls of his shirt and tosses it into a corner somewhere, revealing his faint abs and soft chest. My jeans tighten slightly, and I try to keep my eyes off the gorgeous boy in front of me. Now is not the time...

It's Connor's turn. "Troooo, I pick youuu."

I look up at him and grin. He's so cute when he's drunk. Not to mention hot...

"Well are you gonna ask me the question or what Connieee?"

"Truth deeeer. I mean dareeeee."

"Dare..."

"I dare you to pick the person you think is most attractiveee and give themm a kiss!" He smiles, as if proud of himself for coming up with it.

My face pales. I haven't come out to anyone here but Connor. They'll all expect me to kiss a girl. Zoe, most likely...

"Do you guys mind closing your eyesss?"

Tyler giggles and says in a sing song voice, "Troyeee? Why you wanna be secret? We all know you craaaave Mama's touch."

I blush, avoiding Connor's eyes. "Riiight, Tilly. You wishh!"

Everyone laughs, and they agree to close their eyes for me.

Once I'm sure everyone has kept their promise, I crawl across the floor until I'm across from Connor. I look at him. He's beautiful. His light brown hair is a mess, his eyes are closed and trusting, his lips are curved into a little smirk. Not to mention the fact that he's shirtless.

Even with all his imperfections, all I can see is perfection.

I glance around once more to double check that everyone's eyes are closed, before leaning forward and, for the second time today, pressing my lips against his. He freezes a bit in shock. Was he not expecting this? Who else would I be attracted to? But soon he reacts, his lips moving and pushing back against mine, perfectly in sync.

Forgetting where I am, my drunk mind takes over and I move to straddle him, sitting in his lap with my legs around his waist and my hands on his bare chest. His hands tangle themselves in my hair, running through the dark curls and pulling me closer. Unlike the first kiss which was gentle and sweet, this one is hot and steamy.

His tongue flicks over my bottom lip and I part my lips, letting our tongues dance together. I've never done this before. I'd always thought it was disgusting, but now it feels right.

I pull away, breathless, and we open our eyes to gaze at each other. Is this love, or just lust and alcohol?

His lips are suddenly on my neck. At first, they leave soft kisses, on a trail along my collarbone. But then he finds a sensitive spot in my neck, and the kiss becomes more of a bite. A love bite. My voice at its softest, I whisper, "Con da Bonn, it feels...like food. Eating food. Eating Nutella! Good. Mmmmm, I likeee..."

He lets go, no doubt leaving a mark. I've never been given a hickey before. "Troyeeee, I like your facee..." he whispers.

I smile giddily. "I like your face too."

At that moment, I remember where we are. Full of dread, I get off Connor's lap and turn to see many pairs of eyes staring at the two of us in nothing other than complete and utter shock.

I guess they heard, and were curious. I guess they opened their eyes, and saw. Who knows how long they've been watching a supposedly "straight" boy making out...maybe a bit more that making out...with a gay boy.

It's too late. After all I've done to hide, after all that time spent running, but now it's all over. One drunken mistake, and now nothing will ever be the same. I wasn't ready.

But I've been outed.