Heart beats, but I don't feel
I touch, but it ain't real
They say I move too fast
Going man to man
Always holding a new hand
Why can't they understand
Sex is irrelevant
Just a game in my head, I'm playing and I'm winning
(Oh) I broke another heart today
(Oh) and I didn't care I just walked away
'Cause they think I love 'em
But I love 'em all, love 'em all ye-yeah
I need another one to get over the other one
Another one, ye-yeah
'Cause they think I love 'em
But I love 'em all, love 'em all ye-yeah
I need another one to get over the other one
Another one, ye-yeah
They all wait for my call
They all want me to fall
All these men, they're a mess
Want me like the rest
I'm content not giving my best
Why can't they understand
Sex is irrelevant
Just a game in my head, I'm playing and I'm winning
(Oh) I broke another heart today
(Oh) and I didn't care I just walked away...
I vibed to "Love 'Em All" by K.Michelle as I got ready for my morning workout, that was my theme song. I literally played it everyday, it explained my non existent 'love' life perfectly. If someone had told 15 year old me that I'd be single at 26 I'd have laughed at them. The thing is when you're that young you feel invincible, grasping still to little bits of the fairy tales we were fed as toddlers.
Oh how I'm glad I've grown up. Love is, was and always will be a way of stripping strong, independent women of the latter trait.
Last night with Damar was my way of releasing pent up stress. Sadly he thought it was more prior to the act. I sighed as I replayed the night...
The sound of my phone ringing drug me out my thoughts
"Yes beeyotch"
"Good morning to you too Lila, you are usually chirpier after a good pipe laying. What happened?"
"Girl, a waste of my time, waste of energy, just a total waste. After we left the club, went back to his uh-mazing apartment. Foreplay all right, music on point and I decide that it's time to handle business, this dude whips out the smallest pipe I've ever seen. Like Burger King fries look bigger but I'm there giving home boy the benefit of the doubt. He was on top of me for 2 minutes as I'm about to fake getting in the mood he nuts and falls right asleep. That's why I never give up my dildo."
I sighed as I ended my tragedy only to hear my best friend out of breath from laughing.
"Deidra stop laughing at me!"
"I'm not laughing at you, just the situation. I told you something looked fishy about Jackson."
"Who's Jackson?"
"The guy you left with, duh."
"I thought it was something with a D."
"Nope you just wanted a D"
"Only real D I got was my battery operated one."
"That's by choice you know, you are a successful marketing executive. Men, good men have offered to settle down with you. That's guaranteed D."
"But at what price? Becoming an investment? I want to be a partner, an equal. All I get are guys who expect me to give up a part of me. I'm selfish, I know. But honestly I'm fine with no commitments, one D just isn't for me. Kudos to women who think they need a man. All I need is one part of them."
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