It was official I've been up since 6am Friday morning, 48 hours later my body had no plans of slumber. I'd been home for about 3 hours because the party ended at 3am.
Everyday on his birthday I basically broke down. Every year I thought I'd get better. Seems I just got worse with each passing day. I stared at the picture of us on my mantle, how happy we were. Care free, young. In love.
I moved from the spot I've been sitting at on the floor and cradled the frame. It was a collaged frame with three pictures. I didn't realize I was crying until I saw tears splash on the biggest picture of us taken at a fair date the summer before senior year of high school. The other two were at senior graduation dinner, one was with us alone, the other was with our friends.
All our lives changed senior year.
*Splash*
Another tear fell...
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Freshman Year
"Jamal stop poking me or I'm going to slap you so hard."
"You're an aggressive individual you know that."
"I learned from the best. I learned from youuuuu," I sang in my most annoying voice.
Jamal and I were forced to be 'friends' due to Morgan dating Mari, who was Jamal's older cousin. We often hung out because Morgan and Mari came up with the wonderful idea to share babysitting duties so they could spend more time together.
On most days Jamal annoyed Lila, she really didn't know why. It was just fun to provoke me apparently. Deep down I liked it but I'd never tell Jamal that and inflate his already huge ego.
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Sophomore Year
"Ima get you for that!"
I chased Jamal around the yard with the water gun.
Morgan was having her senior year party at our house and Jamal of course was here.
We had become best friends and I hung out with him and the guys everyday. I had a huge crush on him but I knew there would never be anything between us because on multiple occasions he'd said I was just "one of the guys." I was fine though.
I had a boyfriend-ish, he had a girlfriend, we had our friendship, everything was alright in our world.
He had however came into the living room which was off limits and soaked me with his super soaker. Not only was my mom going to flip out but my hair was dripping wet.
He ran back inside and up the stairs. I found him laying on my bed laughing at my lack of running ability.
I collapsed on my beanie chair and dried my hair with a towel.
"Lil?"
"Yeah J?"
"Promise me one day when I'm all famous and shit you'll continue to be my best friend so we can chase each other all over the house playing with super soakers."
I laughed at him, not because he was being funny but because he was full of confidence. He was right though, with his basketball skills he would be famous at some point.
"Sure, if wifey won't get upset with ya."
"Would you get upset?"
"What do I have to do with anything?"
"Damn Lil, you forever slow."
I pouted but said nothing because he got off the bed and came over to the chair. Pulled me up, sat down and motioned for me to sit.
"I'm not going to beat around the bush because I think we've both wasted enough time.
I like you, a lot. I know you do too so do you want to be my girlfriend?"
I stared at him, my mind unwilling to comprehend his question.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?"
He mean mugged me.
"Really Lil, you know me better than that. She broke up with me."
"So I'm to be Ms Rebound?"
"She broke up with me because she knew I had feelings for you."
I knew he was serious and whatever he wanted he worked hard to get, and even harder to keep.
"OK, I'll be your girlfriend if..."
"I knew you were gonna be hard headed, if what?"
I laughed again, "I don't know what yet. Just wanted to say if."
He hugged me and gave me a soft kiss on my lips. That was supposed to be the beginning of forever.
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