Homicide | h.s. fanfiction

Chapter 4 ~ Monster

Harry's POV

I'm not a monster... I'm not a monster... I'm not a MONSTER!

I punched the already broken mirror again, making some more glass fall off.

"DAMN IT!" I yelled in pain, holding my bleeding hand.

Stop it Harry, just grab a towel and hold it on your hand.

I grabbed the nearest towel I could find and carefully placed it on my hand. I winced in pain when it touched my skin.

Jesus, Harry if you stay this mad you might kill someone. SHUT UP!

Those anger issues I used to have, they're still there. I can't be near anyone or I might hurt them. You might hurt yourself too, idiot. No I won't! Your hand says otherwise.

I'm arguing with myself, now I've gone mad.

I got a roll of bandages and rolled it around my hand. I sat on the couch and put my head in my hands. Calm down, Harry.

At that moment, there was a knock at the door.

"Sh*t." I muttered to myself as I got up and got the door.

It was Carrie.

"Hey, I heard some noises are you─ what the hell happened?" She said, noticing my hand.

I couldn't find anything to say to back me up, so I just sighed and let her in.

She walked in and turned to me. Her face was full of concern and worry.

She stepped towards me and looked at my hand. "What did you do, Harry?" She asked in a whisper.

"I still have my anger issues." I stated.

"Do you hurt yourself when your angry?" She asked looking up at me.

"Sometimes."

We sat on the couch as Carrie took my bandaged hand and observed it.

"Were you always like this when you were in London?" She asked. I nodded at her.

"Hopefully you didn't hurt anyone."

I gulped as my eyes widened. I wish Carrie, I wish.

She looked back up at me and I tried to play it cool, not looking suspicious.

"You never really told me much about your life in London. What was it like?" Carrie curiously asked.

Sure Harry, tell her all about your life in London so she'll call the cops on you and get you arrested again. I really need to stop talking to myself because my conscience is really pissing me off, and I'll look like a crazy person getting mad over nothing. Like you aren't crazy enough.

"My life was... hard in London. I was practically just like my dad, but I never really met the guy because my parents divorced when I was still a child."

Carrie looked pretty interested, which kind of surprised me. She's buying it you idiot, keep it coming and maybe you could get laid. Carrie is not like that! You're such a wuss, Styles.

"It was just you and your mother?" Carrie asked.

"Yeah, but I had a sister named Gemma. We never really talk anymore since mom died and I ran away." I explained.

"Have you ever tried calling her?"

"Yeah, but she never picks up." Because she doesn't want an idiot like you as her brother.

"Is she mad at you or something?" Carrie questioned crossing her arms over her chest.

I wish I could say 'hell yeah she is!', but I got to stay undercover.

"I did run away from home, so that pretty much explains it." I said with a shrug.

Carrie looked at me with a small smile. "I guess we're not really that different."

I snapped my head towards her. "What do you mean?"

"No parents, siblings that we never talk to."

"I didn't know you had a sibling." I told her with a puzzled look.

She nodded. "Yeah, I have an older brother named Ethan. I moved in with Julie because he was too dangerous to be around. He started to hit me so I had to leave before something bad happened to me."

"Where is he now?" I asked.

"He still lives in our old house in New York. Julie was the only person I had left so I flew to California and lived with her for a while until I could afford my own place."

It's hard to believe that someone like her went through that. If I go back to my old ways, something could happen to her and she's already been through enough. I wish I never did the things I did in London, but I can't change the past.

You can't change people's memories either.

"Harry?" Carrie spoke up looking at me. I made eye contact with her.

"Have you...ever done something so bad that you just regret it so much and you wish you could take it back?"

It's like she's reading my mind.

"Yes... Why do you ask?" I said slowly, afraid of what she might say.

"Well, it seems that whatever you did back in London must've been so bad that it caused you to run away, and ever since I met you I swear I've seen your face somewhere before."

Sh*t, this is not good! I'm definitely screwed right now! What the hell am I supposed to do now?!

I turned to look at Carrie and she looked at me with worry and confusion. Screw it.

I quickly leaned towards her and kissed her lips. Damn it, Harry! She's probably confused now.

She responded by putting a hand on my shoulder and kissing me back.

Smooth. Your still a stupid bastard though. I know.

~Soooooo, kind of unexpected huh? What would you do if someone put you on the edge like that? Ask Harold lol. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter (literally took me 2 days to write XD) but new chapter coming soon :) BTW some of you might be confused on why Harry always talks to himself, but it's because of his issues and it's a habit he has, but yeah he's still a cutie though <3~