Faking It

19.

As I hang the last touch of lights around the small window frame of our apartment, I take in our— over the top— Christmas decorated apartment.

"—and we're officially done!" Violet exclaims with excitement as she claps her hands together, a bright smile beams over her lips, showing her pearly whites.

Violet and I had a tradition every year since we entered University, we had a small Christmas tree in the living room and did what we could to decorate the apartment with decorations like lights, tinsel as such.

Not many people saw the point in decorating like us— seeing as we would be going home for Christmas break soon, but growing up both Violet and I's family, including Carter's, spent Christmas Eve together, opening a gift each and trying to guess the others, excitement bubbling each present we went through, our parents surrounded the large kitchen table with laughter and Christmas joy as they sip their wine and we sip our special made hot chocolate. We would always help decorate each home with each other, no matter the circumstances. It was definitely a favourite memory of mine.

So we made a vow to not break the tradition, home or not— we stuck to it.

Cheesy, I know.

"Oh man— it's like Santa Claus threw up in here!" Nora's voice was amused yet, disinterested. Both her and Mason entering our apartment, astonished at our effort almost.

"Come on Nor, get into the holiday spirit!" Violets bright and bubbly attitude made Nora laugh as she takes a candy cane from our small treat jar in our living room.

Things have been tense within the group within the last week. My mind was in overdrive over the latest events and I wished everyday to be given a break of the constant mess that was my entire life.

Since the day that both Noah and Carter left to confront Adam, I hadn't spoken to either. From speaking each day and not going without seeing one another day by a day, to not uttering a single word to each other was a massive change, leaving a guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

It was evident for Nora and Mason to find out, I mean— the group was so tense you could suffocate with the uncomfortable tension within it. So my secret soon spread to the rest of the group, much to my dismay.

Nora agreeing with me that violence was never the answer yet, of course— Mason agreed the boys were suppose to beat him to a pulp.

I've spoken to Carter briefly, more than Noah. No thanks to Violet.

She couldn't stand us all arguing so she did everything in her power to at least get us to have a conversation, which worked.

Noah on the other hand, was just a stubborn as me.

I hated this grudge I held. I hated feeling anger towards the two people who were only looking out for me— but the thought of them getting hurt because of me burned inside my brain and I refused to let that happen on my watch.

Violet was equally as mad as I was with the two testosterone filled boys, but— her stubbornness grew short compared to mine and caved.

"How are you, AJ?" Mason's curious question caught me off guard as both Nora and Violet continue their own conversation.

Mason knew I was still incredibly anxious to be alone. He insisted on walking with me to class each chance he got— much to my dismay, his kindness was well received but, I hated putting all of my friends out when I can fix things alone.