Faking It

21

You know when people genuinely believe that high school would be the best years of your life?

Those people, were naive.

I used to be that person.

All though I lacked the whole "popularity" trait. I still thought myself lucky to have a decent high school experience.

I had a great group of friends, the boy that I happened to be in love with since freshman year felt the same way.

I may not have been a popular cheerleader or had the popularity to match— but I still had a great senior year experience.

Not to mention my grades were the best they could be.

I was basically at my peak.

And I hated to admit it.

So, I assumed that would go follow me all the way to college.

I got into my dream course to pursue my career of fashion design, all of my friends had been accepted into the same College, as well as my boyfriend.

I was living the basic, small town girl dream, right?

After my childhood and adolescence were nothing but disturbing and harsh, I felt as though things were finally looking up for the rest of my young adult life.

Yet, I could never have pictured these last few months I have endured.

As I sit here, on my couch in my apartment, bowl of popcorn in lap with sweets just to my right— I watch trashy reality tv shows and reminisce how my life has completely turned upside down.

Think about it.

Within the time frame of third semester of the college year, I have lost who I had thought was the love of my life to a try hard barbie wannabe.

I am your stereotypical poor college, the shifts at my families diner lacking due to being out of town for college.

My best friends are convinced I am the bad luck charm of the group, although surprisingly still standing by me.

I have asked who was a semi stranger to be in a fake relationship with me and not to mention the amount of drama that followed.

And the denial of any sort of feelings for him played on my mind each day.

And now, for the icing on top of the firey, garbage cake that was my life— raunchy, half naked photos had been sent to the entire student body of myself by my own and only ex boyfriend.

Even the RA got it.

And the judgement behind her thick, pink glasses and wrinkly scowl were enough to allow me to wallow in my own self pity.

Can't I just have a normal college experience?

What did I do so wrong to endure this nightmare.

I've been good, I've never done anything harmful.

All I wanted to do was study, enjoy my time with family and friends and get out.

Be normal.

Who am I kidding, my life is as far away from normal as it can be.

You're probably thinking—

Oh April, what has you wallowing in your own self doubt on this fine, Thursday evening?