Faking It

8

"Is this a joke?" That was the only possible sentence I could form towards Adam after our little discussion.

Okay — hardly a discussion. More him making excuses and me standing struck like a hurt toddler.

A pit of anger and hurt continued to bubble inside my stomach as I look at his face, as if the answers I was searching for were on his blank yet constant smug face.

I secretly hoped this was all a joke and any minute now Ashton Kutcher would come out and scream "You've just been Punk'd!"

But unfortunately with his expression — and the fact that it wasn't 2004 — this was anything but a joke to him.

"April, I am truly sorry, it just sort of...happened." Adam scratched the nape of his neck, eyes darting to a few staring eyes that lingered towards our little scene whilst people strolled by, but my mind in over drive, I did not seem to care about who was staring at our confrontation.

"It just 'happened'? Something that just happens, Adam, is eating an entire pizza alone, not sleeping with someone else!" My hands were thrown into the air in a sign of defeat whilst Adam just looked bored, not shame or embarrassment; bored.

As if he had better things to do than tell his girlfriend of two years he's been sleeping with someone else the entirety of summer break.

As I told my friends that Adam had stayed to visit his family in Ravenswood; his hometown, for the summer, I hadn't been lying.

But what I didn't know was whilst Adam had been there, his Ex - Girlfriend seemed to be with him through out the whole time, thus leading to one night and too much alcohol and - well, you can see where this is heading, and it happened, through out the entire vacation period.

Years of our relationship just wasted for a summer hook up, but of course that wasn't the case.

"You know I love you, it's just that-"

Adam seemed to look frustrated, biting is lip in confusion as his eyebrows furrowed, the way that would make me flustered every other day, but today well, it made me want to slap that look off his face.

"Something that night, it sparked something. This feeling... it's happened since half way through senior year, that night just seemed to make it official and it helped me decide.. I just don't want to hurt you." His hand slowly caressing my arm, trying his best to comfort me but it made me flinch away as if he was fire, but I already seemed to be burned.

"You already did." My voice slowly breaking at my last statement, before I could show any expression of heartbreak spread to my face, I quickly backed away from him and began walking as fast as I could to my apartment.

Our whole relationship felt like it was based on a lie, he hid the fact that he had really still loved her and I was just a stop along the way.

I try to shuffle to find my keys in my bag, but my vision became blurry as tears started to flood my eyes.

Finally reaching my apartment breaking into my room, to just sit against the door and stare off blanky, as if the last bunch of minutes hadn't happened and I was trapped into a sea of emptiness.

//

"So he cheated on you and claimed that the 'spark' never left between them?" Violet was now siting across from me on the ground in our living room, trying to re-create my mumbled sentences about the moment Adam and I had just shared.

I nodded blankly as I once again stare into the distance.

It's been a little over a week since Adam and I's break up and his confession.