Save Me

Hello, It's Me

The big huge house that stood before me brought back way too many memories. They seemed to all come rushing in at once, flooding my mind. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper to make sure that I had the right address.

144 Walter Drive

It took everything in me to walk closer to the house. I lifted up my shaky hand and knocked on the door. After minutes of just standing there in the humidity causing my hair to revert back to it's natural curly state someone finally answered the door.

"May I help you?" the person asked looking me up and down.

I pulled up the sleeve on my shirt and showed him my infinity symbol tattoo that had the number 4 written on both sides of it. He then looked at his wrist where I knew the same tattoo would be placed.

"Why are you here?" he asked me scrunching up his face and flaring his nostrils. Now I know he's angry.

"I just came by to say hello and maybe talk," I said in a childlike voice. Whenever I got around him my dominating demeanor seemed to disintegrate and all of my confidence drained.

"We have no reason to talk," he said about to shut the door in my face until I put my foot in the way.

"Please," I said, more like begged.

He sighed out in defeat. "Come in,"

I followed him into his home, which looked more like a mansion. His house always seemed to astound me. We had both came from wealthy families. Mine was old money that grew from investments and businesses. His family was new money, they were self made. His whole family used to sell drugs. They used their business smarts from that and created a small businesses which soon turned into a mega corporation which he now runs along with his brother Ye.

"Take a seat at least," he said pointing to his white couch that was in the center in the room.

I sat down carefully since I really didn't feel comfortable here like I used to. Hell, it's been 6 years since I've even stepped foot in this house.

"Want a drink?" he asked me walking to his bar.

"what you got?" I asked him.

"Various wines and stuff,"

"Uh, I don't drink anymore so I'm good,"

"Why don't you drink anymore?" he asked and I frowned.

I hate retelling that past. For about a year after I left Houston, left his home I was just going some of anywhere that I could. I'd drink, smoke and party every night. Soon I got tired of the cycle, the lifestyle and I got clean and I haven't drunk alcohol in 2 years.

"Just don't like it much," I said and he shrugged his shoulders.

We shared awkward glances and then one long lingering stare before he asked me "Now, why  are you really here?"

"I-I needed to see you, see how everything is going," I told him holding back the tears that were forming in my eyes.

"I'm doing fine Beyonce. Actually ever since you left me I've been better,"

His words shot through my heart like bullets. I can't believe he said that. How could things have been so much better. We were attracted to each other, like a moth to a flame. He was my soul mate. I left for my own selfish reasons. He wanted to settle down, have kids but I wanted a life.

"So I heard that you're a singer now," he said ending the silence that had filled the room.

"Yea, I decided to follow my dreams," I said hoping he'd understand that that is one of the reasons that I left.

"Dreams are more important than anything right?" he asked in a condescending tone. I knew I had struck a nerve.

"No they're not Jay," I said to him and he rolled his eyes.

"They were to you beyonce, you hurt me when you left. I know that they say time is supposed to heal you but, I haven't done much healing," he yelled at me. For the first time I've been here I took a really good look at him. He had gotten taller and much buffer. His lips were still thick and juicy making me remember what those juicy lips used to do to me. Once I moved up to his face he looked aged. Like life and stress had aged him.

"Jay I left to find myself! I needed to know the real Beyonce. I was tired of living under your shadow. You was pressuring me to have a baby at the age of 18. That was crazy Jay!"

"We had the money! I could've taken care of you!"

"Shawn I didn't need that. My family is filthy rich, I needed freedom and independence,"

"You didn't even try to reach me," he said dropping his head.

"Jay I called a thousand times, to tell you that I was sorry for everything that I had done. Every time I called you never seemed to be home,"

"Must've called my old cell number," he said with a shrug.

"Well I didn't know,"

"Look beyonce, I'd love to sit here and reminisce with you but I have a job to go to," he said grabbing a briefcase that sat neatly in the corner of the living room.

"Okay then Jay," I said sadly. This may be the last time I see him.

"Look, come see me here tomorrow afternoon. No matter what you've done I can't stay mad,"

"Is it okay if I bring you a gift?" I asked him.

"No I don't need your gifts," he said to me.

"Oh you need this gift Jay," I said as I walked out the door.