Hello, It's me...
I was wondering if after 6 years you'd still want to meet me and go over everything we've been through. I tried calling but to no avail. Jay, I'm sorry, just come back to me.
They had gotten back from there vacation two days ago and have been annoying the hell out of me ever since then. I walked out of my room and down the grand staircase. She was in the living room holding up the prettiest dress I had ever seen.
"I just finished sewing up this dress, I hope you can fit it, your hips have gotten a lot wider," she said rolling her eyes.
"Okay Tina," was all I said before she threw the dress at me.
I tried it on for her. I was dreading to hear the response I'd get from her. When I finally looked her in the face I was surprised. She had a kool-aid grin and her eyes were lit up.
"Beyonce, I think your curves are actually going to help you win now. It's giving you sex appeal, you'll definitely wow the judges,"
The mention of judges and pageants made my stomach churn. I haven't done one in a while because they have been focusing on Solo and she's been so successful, taking home the win each time. Even though I was so happy for her, I didn't want to participate in it again myself. I was having too much fun prancing around the town with Jay.
I faked smiled and told Tina how excited I was to be entering again. She actually believed me which was good because I had no interest in arguing with her today. After I took my dress of we immediately went into training mode. We trained for weeks on end and the only time I spoke to Jay was through texts. I didn't even have time for a simple phone conversation.
Thankfully when competition day came I was on my A-Game. I double checked myself in the mirror. I looked amazing and my makeup was done wonderfully. My hair was very different but Matthew and Tina said I needed edge. She also advised me to sing. I wasn't going to sing the little bubble gum pop song that she wanted me to. I wanted to serve some serious vocals because I knew Jay would be out there.
First I showed my dress and did my walk across the stage. I answered their questions and they examined me from head to toe. I hoped so desperately that I would win because if I lost, there would be so much hell to pay. The other girls were beautiful but well they weren't me.
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After the first part was over we had to do a group dance that was choreographed and rehearsed earlier. I'm pretty good at it so that was no problem. I slayed it and I was very proud of myself. Was I feeling happy? Hell no, but I had to win, that was my key to freedom. The third part was just where we'd be asked series of different questions. We still had to look nice for this part too.
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Finally was the talent competition. I went on last, everyone before me was really good at whatever they had done. I was a little intimidated but I never let it stop me. I had gotten dressed up for mine and had a big screen in the background so it would look like a little music video. My father thought my outfit was a bit too adult for me but Tina said that we had to do whatever to win. I didn't care, I just hoped that Jay would ignore my outfit and focus on the words because each word was for him. I told him that the outfit was like lingerie and he didn't complain. He just wanted me to win so I could have my freedom.
After my performance everyone stood up and applauded me. It was a standing ovation and I loved every minute of it. That's when everything finally clicked for me. I want to sing, I want to make people laugh, cry, smile. I heard my name being called as the winner and I was happy but not as happy as I was singing.
"You did good baby girl," Jay said kissing my forehead. My parents let me do whatever I wanted since I did such a great job.
"Thanks Jay, I think I want to sing," I said to him
"Beyonce, that's foolish, I can take care of you,"
When he said that I knew that he had lost a part of me and I wouldn't love him the same.
