Imperfection (Vhope fan fiction 18+)

wounds

Warning: 18+ content in this chapter, self harm. If you can't read about things like that, please don't read this chapter.

The day passed with me getting beat up behind the school, and of course Taehyung was there as well, helping them hurt me. I was kicked a couple of times in the side by him, and in the head and in other places by the others.

I could tell they ruffed up Taehyung a bit for trying to defend me when I was getting in trouble earlier because when he was beating me up, I could tell he had a few bruises and scratches.

After they were done, they left me bleeding behind the school. It was already dark out because it was past ten o'clock so no one could see my bleeding body lying on the ground as they walked past me. How would I be able to jump the school gate as well? Being in this condition.

I knew no one was coming to find me so I slowly got up myself and started to walk to the gate that was, like expected, already closed because it was so late out.

I sighed at the sight of it, I then struggled to jump the gate with the bleeding wounds on my body. Yes it was a struggle and it hurt a lot, but I couldn't get home if I didn't.

Not to mention when I did get home, my mother went off on me as well for coming home in the middle of the day. She was ignoring that I was bleeding in pain with wounds on my body, she was scolding me because I wasn't in school.

After her huge lecture of me having to become something important in society and how I need to get into one of the top three universities I walked up to my room and laid down on my bed.

My hands were too numb to work on my homework, and the pain in my body was a tingling type of pain that killed.

I couldn't do anything. People hurt me for no reason, they judge me for no reason, they tease me for no reason. If everyone around me hated me that much, why don't I just end this stupid life of mine.

No one cares about me, all my parents care about is my schooling, the teachers pretend they don't see the bullies beating the shit out of me, but I know they're watching. The people in my class don't do anything either, that's why no one becomes my friend, they don't want to become a target as well.

No one in my life cares about me...If I wasn't such a wuss I would have killed myself by now, but I was scared, scared of death and what would be on the other side. God's not real, so what would be waiting for me on the other side, a black hole? Would I be wandering on the 'other side.'

I wondered about that for a long time...but there's probably someone on the other side who cares about me. Not like here where no one cares about me and everyone hates me. They all tell me to kill myself, so why don't I?

I got up, slowly going to my pencil case and pulling out my sharpener. I took the blade out and then headed to the washroom, looking at myself in the mirror. The only thing I saw that was staring back at me was someone disgusting.

The more I looked at myself, the more I realized I didn't need to be alive. I started dissing myself, calling myself fat, ugly, unlovable in the mirror while ugly, slow tears fell down my cheeks. I've always been an ugly crier, and watching myself cry in the mirror made me cry even more.

I then looked down at the blade I held in my hand and stared at it for a long time. I slowly brought it to my wrist, but before I could do anything, I quickly brought it away and shook my head. I couldn't, I'm a wuss who is still scared of the unknown. I want to die so bad, but I can't give myself enough courage to do it.

What am I holding onto, yes I want to kill myself, but if I really wanted to, I would have gotten it done and over with. I'm still scared of what's on the other side to actually do anything.