Imperfection (Vhope fan fiction 18+)

home sweet home

Warning: explicate scenes and self harm is in this chapter. Please don't read if you're uncomfortable with that type of stuff.

*Hoseok's POV*

As I got home a smile couldn't leave my face, the only thing I was thinking about was Taehyung. The thing roaming around my mind the most, was about how he was taking me to the movies tomorrow after school. 

Once I took my shoes off and headed into the dining room with a smile on my face, my mother looked at me with a glare and asks in a low tone of voice "what're you so happy about?" 

With her asking me that, sadness quickly filled me and I looked down. "N-Nothing...I wasn't smiling about anything." 

"Look here, the kid who tried killing himself a couple days ago now has a smile on his face? Wah, you're living the life aren't you? While I'm stuck at home, cleaning for you, cooking for you. I should be the one smiling right now, going out with my friends and so forth. But no, I'm stuck here doing everything for you like you're some king." My mother says in anger. 

I looked down, not saying anything. I didn't want to say something and have her yelling at me even louder then she already was. 

"What makes you think someone as low as yourself should be happy?!" My mother asks and she was right. I had nothing to be happy about. Taehyung was only being friends with me because everyone now thinks he's 'gay.' Even if he wanted to be friends with someone else, they wouldn't want to be friends with him. He's only trying to be my friend because he doesn't want to be alone. 

"You're right..." I say in a faint tone of voice while looking down. 

"I know I'm right" my mother says, turning back around and walking into the kitchen where she was cooking food. 

As I watched her walk away, I walked back up into my bedroom and kept the lights off. As I entered my bedroom depressing thoughts filled my mind once again and tears started to form in my eyes. 

I sat down on the edge of my bed, looking down into my lap. It was still dark inside the room, but the moon light piercing through the window was giving me just enough light that I could see whatever was in front of me. 

I sniffed, wiping my running nose with my forearm. I'm worthless, aren't I? Right when I have a second of happiness, I remember no one actually wants to be my friend. No one actually cares about me. It's just a delusion in my head that people care. It's all lies. They're all liars. 

I glanced over to the side dresser next to my bed which laid my razor blade. 

I made a few wounds on my thighs and stopped once I started to feel numb. Tears falling down my cheeks, I didn't want to feel anything, I wanted to feel the emotional pain I built up inside me and turn it into physical pain. 

More tears rushed down my cheeks before I fell asleep. Having the dreaded thoughts of wanting to die wander in my mind. 

When I woke up, it was morning and light was piercing through the window. I slowly picked up my phone which was beside me and saw my alarm didn't go off because it was one in the afternoon. I was late for school. 

My thighs hurt as I sat up but I ignored the pain and waddled over to my washroom to brush my teeth and do my hair. I didn't feel like going to school. I really didn't want to go to school. 

When I go to school, I'd have to face not only the bullies but everyone else staring at me with piercing glares because of the video that was uploaded yesterday night. Dohyun probably posted it all over social media. Good thing I don't have any social media, that way I can't see all the negative comments about me.