Imperfection (Vhope fan fiction 18+)

Police station

"Do you have anyone to take you home, is your father there so he can pick you up? He might want to know the news as well." The doctor asks, he himself was trying to contain his emotions. Of course he'd be sad as well, he couldn't save her. 

"I...don't know where my dad is, he doesn't live with us." I explain and the doctor looked even more upset. 

"You have no one else you can call, maybe a family member who can pick you up?" He asks, he sounded like he was hoping I had someone to mourn with, but obviously I didn't. 

I shook my head slowly meaning no and it was like the doctor didn't know how to respond. "How're you going to get home?" He asks, sounding concerned about me. 

"I...I'll walk home." I say in a sad tone, slowly starting to turn around. 

Before I could walk away, he took a hold of my shoulder to stop me. "You know, you can stay at the hospital if you want. We have an extra room in the other department." The doctor explains, pointing to the exit of where we were, referring to the beds beyond the part of the hospital we were in. 

I shook my head meaning no once again. "I don't want to stay here. Do whatever you want with the body, I don't care." I mutter. My throat felt clogged, my eyes went blurry because of the tears forming inside them. 

"You don't want to bury the body? Did she want to be reincarnated?" The doctor asks, wanting to know her last wishes. 

"I don't know...what she wanted." I said, starting to slowly walk away again and this time, the doctor didn't try to stop me. 

My heart ached...it pained...it hurt so much. Why, why does my heart hurt this much for someone who didn't even love me?! Why do I have to care about her so much?! 

While walking out of the hospital people were still giving me weird looks. I still had blood on my clothing, but now it looked like I was about to burst into tears at any second. 

I walked out of the hospital, slowly walking all the way to my house. I wouldn't say my house was close to the hospital. If I had to walk without taking the bus, it would take an hour and a half to get home which I didn't really care. I needed the walk anyway to clear my head.

Why was it her that had to die first, I WAS SUPPOSE TO DIE FIRST! I couldn't handle it anymore, I burst into tears, crying. I fell to my knees on the sidewalk, sobbing. This wasn't the normal sobbing with a couple tears rushing down my cheeks and a few sniffing here and there. No, this was scream sobbing. Have you ever cried so hard that you screamed and punched and felt aggressive. Yeah, that's what I was doing. 

I was sobbing and screaming so loud, people were looking at me like they were scared. I guess because I had dry blood all over me as well. That didn't make it any better. I managed to get myself back to my feet at one point which surprised me considering it felt like I would hit the floor again at any given second because I felt so weak. 

This isn't fair, this isn't fair, THIS ISN'T FAIR! I was-I was suppose to die first! I shouldn't be here right now, I should have been the one in the surgery room dead, my mom should be the one feeling this way right now. Yet again, I don't think my mom would care, but it doesn't matter. 

I got to little arched bridge I had to cross. The bridge that I considered jumping off of a while back. I got to the middle of it and looked down. 

"Do it Hoseok, you might as well just end it here. Your mom's dead, your dad's gone, it'd make sense for you to kill yourself now. You wouldn't just be some random depressed teenager, you'd be the random depressed teenager with no parents." The voice in my head said which annoyed me.