Kitten, Neko |Phan and KicktheStickz.|

.Chapter 22.

PJ's POV. (What!)

I take a deep breath as I enter Phil's room again. I see him starting at his mirror whilst Dan held him in his arms. Phil looking like he was giving himself death stares. Me knowing that feeling all to much.

He looks at me and smiles sadly. He mouths 'are you okay' to me and I nod. I feel my arms itch like crazy and I couldn't take it. I have to tell them. There my friends right. They would be supportive.

"Guys I need to tell you something." I whisper and everyone head turns to me. Phil's eyes widen and I just nod. A fresh set of Tears falling down his cheeks.

"When I.. When I used to get bullied. They would call me horrible names. Faggot, useless. Your a mess, twat, die in a hole. Loser, emo freak.. It really hurt me. They started hitting me two weeks into the verbal abuse." I feel tears brim my eyes at the memories flashing back. Only Dan knows this. And he was smiling at me. Helping me in the way yet crying.

"You said that they didn't want me to to be here anymore. They made me feel insecure about my life. Making me go home crying almost everyday and I would just feel.. Numb." I say and I look down. Now here comes the part that Dan never knew about me.

"I hated myself." I whisper and dans eyes widen. "I hated myself so much that I never wanted to go out of bed. Why would I need to get out of bed if they said no one cared and I should be dead. Never born." I whisper. Tears now falling down my cheeks.

"I would stand there for atleast 2 hours everyday at myself in the mirror. Picking out every tiny flaw that I had on myself. Why would anyone like me? I'm ugly right? I would ask my self these questions so many times." I take a deep breath before I continue, everyone's eyes widen in shock.

"I started becoming shy, Not liking the way I talked so I only talked to Dan. I would try and skip school when Dan was sick because he would stick up for me but it would never work! I got beaten harder so then I could just lay there in pain. They made me not want to breath anymore." I whisper the last part and dans eyes widen even more. Me sobbing a little bit as Chris's arms wrap around my form.

"I.. I couldn't take it. There voices and the voices in my head where screaming at me to do horrible things. I was so scared. When I looked in the mirror I'd tell myself that I should stop eating. Stop having curly hair. Stop speaking. Change my body shape. Change... Everything about myself."

"I... Slowly got depressed, I couldn't be fixed, Dan helped me. That was the only person that helped me. But he never knew anything about me hating myself. So when I met Chris and Phil. I came out of my shell a little bit. But Phil noticed something that I have been hiding for a very.. Very long time." I say and I rolled up my sleeve. Revealing the cuts. Everything went silent in the room.

"I hated myself, so much I cut myself. I couldn't take the mental pain and needed physical pain to overpower me. So I started cutting and Phil noticed. He never told you guys because I made him promise that he wouldn't tell you guys. You tried Dan.. But. I. Couldn't. Handle. The. Word. They. Screamed. At me." I whisper and look down. My wrist facing opposite me. I suddenly felt arms wrap around me tightly and then I just started sobbing.

"We're all broken."
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I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. If you did please comment telling me if not than that's fine! Poor PJ. It will get better! Anyway, comment and I'll talk to you all soon!X

Love you allXxX
Sammie=3