Save Me

I've missed this

Being woken up by Lindsey's gentle kisses on her bare shoulder, was something Stevie missed dearly. They barely slept during the night, making love until they were too exhausted to continue. He was so loving, but passionate at the same time, reminding her that nobody could make her feel the way he did. She wished things were different, she wished they weren't so stubborn and that they could put their differences aside. He would never find another woman like her, nor would she ever find a man like him.

She let him turn her around, a smile on her face, him pressing his lips against it. "I've missed this so much." He whispered, the tips of their noses touching. 

"Me too." She ran her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at the back. "I didn't think you would stay the whole night. What about Carol-"

Lindsey pressed a finger against her lips, silencing her. "Let's not go back to the real life just yet, okay?" 

Stevie nodded her answer, instantly responding to his kiss, welcoming his weight on top of her. They kissed lazily for what felt like hours, while exploring the other's body with their hands. They had been together intimately countless times, each of them just as equally special. 

She was getting too lost, gasping when he thrust his hips forward, then keeping still until she got used to the feeling, as she wrapped her arms and legs around him tightly, as they moved together in perfect sync. 

There were no words said between the two, concentrating on loving each other, their eyes locked the whole time - the intensity of it all, making her emotional, as she welled up and he kissed the tears that escaped away. 

Neither cried out the other's name, only pulling their bodies closer, in a way trying to engrave the moment in their minds, because they couldn't be sure if they ended up like this ever again.

Shortly after, Lindsey turned over, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting hunched over for a minute, while Stevie lay on her back, watching him. How she wished she knew what was going through his head right now, there were so many possible scenarios and each of them scared her; some of them less, some of them a lot more.

But the thing she hated the most was knowing he was leaving her and going back to another woman.

They parted without words, it was simply too hard to say something, anything. What could there be said when the two people who loved each other like no one else, had to separate and move on with their lives as if nothing happened?

Once she was alone, Stevie went straight to the bathroom and stepped into the shower. She always wanted his smell to linger on her body, but not this time. Now their reality was too cruel for her to handle. Letting the water run, she stepped under and stood for a long moment like that, somehow believing it could wash away the pain. 

She didn't cry, she didn't really feel much of anything. At times like this, she wanted to disappear. Maybe it would be better than living this lie? She wouldn't have to see Lindsey, he wouldn't ever hurt her again, she wouldn't have to face the fact she let him go and some other woman let him in...

Somehow willing herself to stop with those morbid thoughts, Stevie got out and reached for the towel, drying herself off, as she then wrapped it around herself and walked back into the bedroom, in search for clean clothes. 

Dressed up, she then found herself staring at the bed she had spent the night in with him. She wanted to lay in it and inhale his scent, but no. Instead, she became angry, grabbing the sheets and tearing them off the bed, not caring about the mess she made. 

Why were things always so damn complicated between them? He loved her, she loved him. Why wasn't it enough? Why was their love and need of each other never enough?

Then came the self-hate. 

She shouldn't have let him come so close again. She knew she would only be left heartbroken once again. Shaking her head sadly, she sat down, leaning her elbows on her knees, head in hands, and started sobbing. Loud cries escaping her tiny body, nearly depriving her of the ability to breath, as she then hurried to the kitchen and filled a tall glass with cold water, downing it in seconds. 

Taking deep breaths, she almost smashed the glass, putting it down on the counter, repeating to herself. "Get it together..."

Stevie didn't even notice how several hours had passed and she was walking down the familiar corridor to the rest of Fleetwood Mac. Plastering a fake smile, she walked into the room, greeting her bandmates, doing her best to avoid looking at Lindsey.

But how could she?

There he was again, with the leech he called his girlfriend draped over him, a possessive hand on her thigh. Stevie thought she was literally going to be sick. Did he just use her? Her vulnerability? And took advantage of her? 

"Stevie, are you alright?" Christine asked, seeing her friend turning white. "Come sit with me."

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"It's okay." The older blonde smiled. 

Then Mick spoke up. "It's your turn today. What are we working on?" He asked Stevie.

"Oh, uh..." She took a moment, going through her bag, pulling out a stack of papers. "This." She handed him the sheet of paper with words, which then was passed to Lindsey.

Reading it through, he sat with a raised eyebrow. "Sisters of the Moon." He scoffed. "Isn't it time to grow out of this witchy fairy thing? It's old news."

She could almost feel her heart shatter into pieces. Last night was a lie. Nothing changed and nothing, apparently, ever will...