Save Me

A decision

Over two months passed as if it were two days. Everything was going perfectly fine. Mick jokingly said that he feared Fleetwood Mac would lose the title they had gained, as if they were living in a soap opera every day. People didn't argue as much, at least not about personal things and more work was getting done as weeks went by. 

Stevie's birthday was just days away and she asked the band to take some time off. They kindly agreed and she and Lindsey decided to go on a short vacation, to really finally enjoy being back together. 

At first, Stevie was eager to visit her parents and stay there for a couple of days, but the more they talked about it, the more she started thinking it wasn't such a good idea. Not because she didn't want to see her parents or anything, but this was her and Lindsey's time. 

So, they flew to Hawaii. 

They booked a suite at a luxurious hotel with a fantastic view, which they had four days to enjoy. Stevie fell on the bed as soon as they entered the room, feeling exhausted, as she hadn't slept the night before very well, the flight adding its own too. Lindsey lay down beside her, facing her.

"If at the end of the Rumours tour,someone had told me that you and I would be back together, vacationing in Hawaii, I would have laughed in their face."

"You think I wouldn't have? I'm so happy we are where we are today. And when I think how stupid and petty our fights, most of them, were, I cringe at us so badly."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." He nodded, turning on his side, reaching to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You look tired. Why don't you take a nap?"

"Because that nap might turn into like ten hours sleep?"

"Well, then it means you need it." He leaned in, capturing her lips briefly. "You rest, I'll be fine. I'll go explore, see what we could do later together."

"Alright." Stevie agreed, yawning, as she scooted up over to the headboard and fell asleep almost the second she closed her eyes. 

Lindsey lingered for a minute, smiling to himself, before he quietly left her alone.

After taking a walk around the hotel's grounds, Lindsey returned to the room, finding Stevie sound asleep and not to be waking up any time soon. He didn't want to waste the day away though, changing into his swimming shorts, he went out again, jumping into the pool and after doing some laps, he went to lie down on one of the loungers, sighing heavily. This was good, he needed a good rest.

He might have started snoozing himself, jumping a little, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"You'll burn." 

"No, I'm used to the sun. You on the other hand..." Lindsey trailed off, seeing as Stevie was basically against tanning, keeping her skin silky smooth being way more important. 

"What are you smiling at?" She then asked, when he didn't say anything for a moment. 

"This." He sat up and put his hands on the back of her legs, drawing her in closer, as he then pressed a kiss to her thirteen week pregnant belly. Because she was so petite, it was already showing, not too much, but the fact was before their eyes. Especially now, when she was wearing a swimsuit (an extremely rare occasion).

"It's definitely something to smile about." She said, placing her hands on his shoulders again. 

It certainly came as a surprise. Stevie wasn't feeling very well for a couple of days and she hadn't eaten nor changed anything in particular. Her mind went straight to it; she had to be pregnant, telling Lindsey she just knew it, she had a feeling. Women biology factors may have had an impact on it too. He was rather skeptical at first. Of course he wanted them to have a baby, but they weren't exactly trying and their lifestyle wasn't exactly conceiving friendly. They went to see a doctor together and it was confirmed, at the time, they were told, that she was nine weeks pregnant. When they counted the time back, they realized it had to be the night, when Lindsey came to see Stevie and he stayed, right before that huge bust-up the following day. Nobody knew of this, except the two of them. Quite a few decisions had to be made before that. 

And it seemed like Stevie had already made a major one...

Sitting down on the lounger next to the one Lindsey had already taken up, Stevie started rubbing her hands together, feeling nervous. She knew this was not something he'd expect and she wasn't sure how he was going to take it. 

"Linds, there's something I wanted to tell you. I know this might ruin our vacation, but I just can't get it out of my head, so I think I need to out with it."

"Well, sure. What is it?"

She was already tearing up, under different circumstances, the words she was about to say, would have never come out of her mouth. "I want to quit Fleetwood Mac."

Long silence followed, Lindsey studying her face, hoping to realize she was just joking. But quite clearly that wasn't the case.

"Okay." He wasn't sure where to start. "It's because you're pregnant?"

"Yes. I can't see myself raising a baby in that environment. It's just not right. I don't want our child's first words to be 'sex, drugs and rock and roll'... It was incredibly hard for me to lay off the coke and temptations are everywhere..." She wasn't exactly proud to admit she wasn't completely over her addiction. "I don't want to give in and get high and let something happen to our baby. I don't want them to be raised by other people either. While that's the only option if I remain in the band. I won't be able to take care of them properly when we go on tour and..."

Lindsey saw how hard it was for Stevie, he knew she loved her music, as well as the band, and no matter how weird and frankly wrong it would be without her next to him on stage, he understood. 

"I get it." He said. "Actually, I'm shocked and proud and so in love with you right now, all at the same time, despite the fact we were in it together and all of a sudden you're gone."

"You honestly understand?" 

"Yes. I understand, but I doubt that will be the case when Mick finds out."

"It's not his decision to make. I am not going to risk the well being of our baby, Linds. I'm not."

"When are you going to let him know?"

"When we're back, I suppose. I'm going to finish recording the album, that is if Mick allows me, once he knows, but after that... no press, no tours, no nothing. I'm done after the album is done."

"Well, you have my support."

"It's what means the most to me. And thank you, I was terrified of telling you."

"I think you made a very hard, yet very mature decision."

Smiling a little, Stevie nodded, despite the few escaping tears. She loved Fleetwood Mac, but she already loved her child more.