Shattered

Shampoo?

When i did fall asleep it wasnt worth it. I woke up a mere 3 hours later when i heard a loud bang. I sit up quickly, startled awake by the loud thud. I throw myself off the bed, the blankets fall onto the floor and grab me. I stumbled and caught myself before I ran into the hallway to find out where that noise came from. I rush into Darry's room and I find that no one is in there and that the bed is already made so I assume that Darry already left for work. I hurry into the bathroom, the only other room left to check on this floor, and am met with a mess. There are shampoo bottles and razors scattered all over the floor and everything is covered in water. I look up and see Soda sitting halfway in the tub, fully clothed, and the shower head swinging beside him, turned up to the highest setting. "Soda, what the hell are you doing?" I ask as I run over to him, slipping on the wet tile floor as I go. I hit the ground and stand up. I slowly walk to him. The first thing I do is reach over and turn the water off and then I take a second to watch as Soda frantically struggles to pull himself up. His leg and his stub are already dangling over the edge of the tub so I reach down, grab Soda by the wrist, and pull him onto the floor. I pulled soda out and he fell on top of me. We lied on the floor Soda yelps in surprise when we hits the ground but then he lets his body go limp. I can tell Soda is exhausted by the way he is panting and I let him relax for a minute to catch his breath. I gently push Soda off of me and stand up. I walk to the closet in the hallway to grab some towels. When I come back, Soda seems calmer but he still hasn't said a word to me. I drop one of the folded towels on the ground and Soda flinches at the sudden noise. "Sorry." I say, sitting on the towel so my ass doesn't get anymore wet. I silently hand the other towel to Soda and he takes it but doesn't start drying himself off yet. "So, are you going to tell me why I found you stuck in a bathtub?" I ask, leaning back against the tub before I look over at Soda. Soda's cheeks turn red and I can tell that he's embarrassed. Without thinking, I reach out and am about to put my hand on his but I pull back at the last second. I just don't feel right trying to comfort someone who tried to choke me to death. Soda notices this and smiles sadly, "Ponyboy, you know I would never intentionally hurt you. You're my little brother. I still love you. Please stop being mad at me. Please" I laugh, shocked that he could say that. "Soda, you do realize that you tried to kill me, right? The funny thing is, you might've succeeded if Darry hadn't come home when he did." I say, looking away from Soda as the memories of that horrible day come flooding back. I gingerly run my fingers over the bruises on my throat and Soda touches my forearm with a shaking hand. I look up at him again and notice that he is crying. "Ponyboy, that wasn't me. That was some twisted, tortured man who was in a lot of pain and who let his demons get the better of him. Pony, you have to understand, I am not the same person. I am fighting to get better but there are some things I can't control. I can't control if I freeze up because some sight or some smell reminds me of Vietnam. I can't control if I am thrown back into a situation where all I can see are three enemy soldiers pinning me down when, in reality, I'm just sitting on the couch." Soda rants. "I think you would be changed too if you saw what went on over there and I hope with everything I got that you never have to. I'm trying so hard to get back to myself but between my leg and my disorder, it's just been so hard." Soda finishes, his voice cracking at the end. My heart goes out to Soda as I watch him fall apart before my eyes. I watch him cry so hard he can't catch his breath, watch him shake like he'd just been shocked and I can't help but be reminded of myself a few days ago. A part of me wants to scream you wouldn't have changed if you didn't go. However it didn't feel right. I was forgiving him for all of this because he's the nicest person. He was only looking after Steve. I missed soda. I would have to forgive him, so I will, Slowly. I hesitantly reach over and pull Soda into a hug and nothing has ever felt more right. "You didn't have to tell me all that but, boy, am I glad you did. I was scared I would never get my brother back but here you are. I've missed you so much, Soda." I say, squeezing Soda's shoulder tightly. "What do you know about Curly?" I ask. "Curly? What's up with Curly?" Soda asks, sitting up and pulling out of my grasp. I let my arms drop, I guess Darry didn't tell him. "Nothing, nothing at all." I say, knowing that if I told Soda he would blame himself for Curly's death. "So are you going to tell me why I found you fully clothed in the tub?" I ask, laughing a little. Soda chuckles slightly but I can tell he is embarrassed. "Well I'm allowed to take a shower yet because of my leg so Darry usually helps me wash my hair. But, Darry had to leave early today so I tried to do it myself but I guess I can't balance very well anymore." "Soda, I'm sorry I've been avoiding you but you shouldn't be afraid to ask me for anything. You'll get used to your leg in time but don't be afraid to ask for help." I say and Soda nods reluctantly. "Alright, tilt your head back." I say before I turn on the water. I rinse Soda's hair with the extendable shower head, wash it with shampoo and conditioner, and then I rinse it one more time. I turn off the water and hand Soda a towel to dry off with. Then, I start to put all of the bottles and razors that are scattered around on the floor back in the shower before I mop up all the water with a couple more towels.
"Thanks, Ponyboy." Soda says, looking relieved. "Anytime, big brother. Now let's go downstairs and get some breakfast." I say, reaching out a hand to help Soda up. For once, things with Soda are good, really good, and I can't help but smile.