Shattered

sibling rivalry

Ponyboy's POV:

I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic but I know I struggle to control how much I drink sometimes. Quitting so suddenly like this makes me feel like I'm actually dying. I'm physically sick because my body can't handle going a few hours without alcohol. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and worst of all I can't stop thinking about Lily . I know if I just have some whisker or maybe a few beers I can forgot about having any pain at all, physical or emotional. For me, that's the hardest part. I'm addicted to the feeling it gives me. I've let myself go to the point where I can't even remember the last time I had a proper meal and as a result my body is actually shutting down on me. I feel helpless and weak and I hate it. Yesterday, I would've soothed my worries with a bottle or two of the strong stuff but now I can't with everyone keeping tabs on me. I usually start drinking to try and forget about Lily and how she might never come back for me and then I start drinking to forget about everything else and that's when everything gets messy.

...

I hear a hiss from my right side and I open my eyes and look at Soda. He's trying to wrestle his prosthetic onto his stump and I can tell it's not very comfortable. "Are you okay, Soda?" I ask and he looks over at me, surprised. "Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to bed." He says. "I've been up all night, I can't sleep." I say but Soda isn't paying attention. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pill bottle. I watch as he pops it open and takes four small white pills all at once. He puts the cap back on the bottle and leans back onto the couch cushions, looking much more relaxed. "Soda, how long have you been taking those pills?" I ask, trying my best to sound casual. "A few weeks. Don't worry though, they're prescription." He says, his voice slightly slurred. "What does the prescription say?" I ask, pressing him for information. Soda doesn't answer, he's off dreaming in his own little world. In one quick motion I grab the bottle from him. "Soda, it says take one pill every six hours depending on how bad your pain is. You just took four." I say and Soda reaches over and takes his medicine back. "Four over the course of a day or four in one minute, it doesn't matter." He says, waving me off. "Soda, if I catch you taking anymore today I'm telling Darry." I warn. "Alright, knock it off with all your worrying." Soda says, opening one eye to look at me. I stand up and grab my head as everything around me starts spinning. "Hey what are you doing? You're supposed to sit and rest on the couch and I'm here to make sure that's exactly what you do.""I'm getting a glass of water, sue me." I snap and Soda throws his hands up in mock surrender. I walk into the kitchen and look around, noticing that Darry must've stocked my cabinets. I open my refrigerator and notice that it's also full. I about to grab the carton or orange juice out of the fridge when someone knocks on the door. With a sigh, I shut the heavy fridge door and shuffle back into the living room. I open the door and see a complete stranger standing there, holding a little girl in her arms.

"Who are you?" I ask, leaning against the doorframe for support.

"I'm Melissa ' s and Brian ' s grandmother I was supposed to bring them over here this morning." She says. "I'm Ponyboy." I say, extending my hand in a friendly greeting. "Emma." She says, shaking my hand politely. I quickly shove my hand in the pocket of my sweatpants to hide the shaking from her. "I can take them, her parents are sleeping but they'll be up soon." I say. "Thanks, I really have to go." Emma says, putting Melissa n Brian down on the ground. "It was nice meeting you!" She yells over her shoulder as she walks away.
"Bye!" I say but I doubt she cares.
Melissa is swaying on her feet, obviously still half asleep and Brian is in her small arms . I pick them up and I start walking to my room where Darry and Alaska are fast asleep but the second I try and lay them on the bed Melissa clings to me like a koala.
"Mhm mhm." She says, shaking her head. "Where do you want me to put you?" I ask, growing more and more tired with each passing second. "I stay here." She pouts. I shrug and walk back to the couch, sitting down with a sigh. Melissa curls up on my lap, her head resting on my shoulder. Soon, she's fast asleep and I don't know if it was the warm feeling of having someone you know close to you or if it was simply the heavy feeling of being responsible for another human life but somehow I feel myself getting genuinely tired for the first time in two days. Melissa really is growing on me.
...
"Well, well, well what do we have here? Is Ponyboy growing soft?" Darry teases, picking melissa and brian up. "Shut up." I say groggily. "Theyre cute though. I think they're growing on me." Darry gently slaps the back of my head. "You hungry Pony?" He asks. "Is that supposed to be a joke?" I ask, rolling over so I'm facing the back of the couch. "No, you need to eat something. I'm making you eggs." He announces. "That doesn't mean I'm going to eat it." I retort. There is another knock on the door and I wonder if it's Melissa babysitter again.
Darry's POV:
"Hi, can I help you?" I ask, staring at the stranger in front of me. "Hi, I'm Lily. Does Ponyboy live here?" I give her a concerned look. This was the same girl I read about who died