Soccer or Love?

Chapter 45 - Old Best Friends & Kissing

I got home and I took a shower, I walked over to my dresser to look myself in the mirror. I smiled, I noticed I had a dimples perfectly aligned when I smiled. I never really focused on myself in the mirror.

I closed my eyes, then looked again I seen a girl who felt small. I wasn’t a girl who was longing for someone to tell her that her dad was always proud of her. I got all of the answers I needed, but there was still I was one question I was longing to answer. Do I feel anything more for Anthony?

Today was different, we talked like nothing happened in our past. We just talked because we wanted to, he showed me he cared about me Zack didn’t even bother to call me back. Zacks a sweet kid and we’ve been dating for 3 months and I know I like him, but when it comes to that time saying those three words would I mean it?

I walked over to my balcony and opened up my window doors, I sat on my chair that was next to my outdoor table. It was a cold night, but I frankly didn’t care I just had a lot on my mind. I know there is one person I can talk to about this.

Joe.

I turned around and looked at my clock it was barely 10. I quickly took my phone off of charge, grabbed a white hoodie, I had cow pajamas on and I grabbed my lighten McQueen slippers on. I couldn’t see because I took of my contacts and grabbed my glasses. I ran out the door and started my car.

It was only a few minutes till I got to Joe’s house; I didn’t even knock on the door. I walked to his back yard and noticed the same tree house Joe and my dad built together when he was little.

I walked up the worn out ladder and opened the door that was far too small even for me, I turned on the light and just sat on the dirty carpet I looked around and seen cob webs on most of the frames and posters that hung about the room. There were two small bunk beds on the end of the wall; I sat on the bottom bunk.

I looked out the window and seen a rope that attached to the top of tree house then finished to the end of the yard.

Suddenly, I turned around to see Joe sitting in the corner of the room.

“Why are you here?”

“For the same reason you’re here Peyton” he sighed and looked at his hands before speaking “look I wanted to talk to you. I know I haven’t been the best of friend lately because I’ve been focusing on Anna and I don’t want you to think I forgot about yo-“

“I never said you forgot about me Joe, if anything I wanted you to focus on your relationship with Anna, I don’t have anything against her and you know that. I just want you to be happy… Joe this isn’t why I came here.”

He thought I was here to talk to him about our friendship because he sees it was breaking but I didn’t see it that way, if anything I seen it getting stronger.

“Joe, I love you but I want you to understand that our friendship isn’t going to change just because you have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend for now…” I whispered the last part hoping he wouldn’t hear me.

I looked out the window again; did I really just say that out loud? I looked back at Joe who was motionless just not even giving me a reaction.

“What do you mean for now?”

Well, it seems like he did hear me. Great now what do I say, hey Joe I don’t know if I am ready to get into a further relationship with your teammate well because I might have mix feelings?

“Peyton I’m talking to you. I don’t want you to get side track right now!” he got up from where he was sitting to stand in front of me. I couldn’t face him, I just walked out the small door and climbed back down.

 I traveled by the tree trunk and sat under it, looking up at the moon for answers what am I supposed to do now.

Joe came down the steps and sat by me not even looking at me, looking in the same direction I was.

“Peyton what aren’t you telling me?”

“Joe I don’t know what to say, everything is confusing. A couple months ago I wouldn’t see myself where I am right now. Joe what do I do? If I keep being in a relationship with someone I like but I don’t love… I might have feelings for someone else. I don’t want to hurt anyone here”

I buried in between my knees, I felt a large arm over my shoulder I looked up to see green eyes.

Joe kissed my forehead as I rested my head on his shoulder “Peyton, I know it’s hard right now but believe me it gets easier. If you don’t like Zack here just tell him how you feel before things get too late…”

I nodded not saying a word; I ended up sleeping the night at Joes. I woke up an hour than I was supposed to finding Joe sleeping on the other couch. Seems that he slept here tonight too, that whole night we stayed up I guess “catching up”

You can say I missed Joe’s humor, I guess we were drifting but after tonight we got to our old selves.

Whenever something like this would happen, I had some clothes in Joe’s guest room just in case I slept over. My mom was never against me sleeping at his house, because Joe slept at mine. That’s one of the best part of our friendship I never had to worry about me catching feelings for Joe or him for me.

Because when we were freshmen we kissed and then we just stared at each other after and busted out laughing on how awkward the situation it was. Ever since then we just didn’t even focus on us being like that, a lot of other people asked us if we liked each other or if we dated but we just laugh at how rumors seem to sound or spread ridiculously.

I walked up to the guest room and opened up the closet to find red sweats from my schools spirit wear, it had JAGUARS written in black on the butt and soccer going down on the bottom of my pants on the left leg. I wore one of Joe’s old baseball shirts that wasn’t big nor small on me because of how old it was. I had on tan moccasins and decided to leave my hair down with my glasses on.

I measured my hair and it was still above my belly button just the way I liked it, I walked out of the guest room to go into the bathroom under the cabinet in a mini locked safe where I had my girl needs.

Such as tampons.

I walked out the bathroom finding Joe’s arms around me giving me a tight hug, “Peyton I’m grateful to have a friend like you…” and with that he left to go change into his room.