just tell me ; joe sugg

t w e n t y f i v e

ana>

A/N: for those of you who don't know, Ana is the mother of Liana and Mara. Also, trigger warning.

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Playlist: EDEN - Wake Up

I absolutely hated doing the bills, but I knew they had to be done sooner or later.

Liana told me about what happened when Joe took her out to Downtown Orlando for their date. A couple days ago. Logan punched and shoved Joe, and now thanks to Logan, Joe has a black eye. I don't know how I'm supposed to explain this to his parents.

With no husband, and my two children out of the house, I got lonely. A lot.

The house was always quiet. It could be nice sometimes, but it could also be boring. It got so lonely and quiet that the silence hurts my ears.

I turned on the radio and brewed myself some coffee. I sat down at the kitchen table doing nothing.

I started to cry. I was so lonely all the time, I had no one. I know my children are literally fifteen minutes away, but they never have time to stop by or call. They're both doing their college work, and Liana has to take care of Mason all the time.

I put my hand to my cheek and leaned on my elbow on the table, more tears falling out of my eyes. I never usually cry like this, but all of the memories started to hit me. All of the good and the bad.

For example, the time I aimed the pistol at Logan. He hurt my children. I would never actually shoot him, but I needed him out of the house at that time. I haven't talked to him ever since, and it frightens me how Liana saw him just a few days ago. That means he still lives here after all of these years.

What could he be doing? Why is is still here? Has he been watching me? And my children? Why was he in Downtown Orlando? My head started to hurt from all of these questions.

I started to think of my parents, who are currently in heaven, probably watching over me. I thought of my older sister, Maya with her beautiful 19 year old daughter, Mickey. They lived up in Maine, and I wondered if she really likes her life the way it was.

Maya and I didn't look alike at all. Sure, we had the same green eyes, but everything else was different. She had straight pitch black hair that was literally perfect, and I had curly brown hair that always was a mess in the mornings. Even though she was annoying, I still missed her so much.

I literally have no one.

logan+

Thinking about that boy Joseph made me angrier than usual. Why the hell is he even in Florida? And he took Liana out on a date? Who the hell does that? Especially when they know that I hate him?

I sighed as I dropped myself on my couch. I turned on the T.V., although I zoned out automatically.

Flashback*

"Ana, I-"

Ana cocks the pistol in her hand, and I slowly raise my arms above my head. Behind me, I heard Mara whimper.

"No one ever hurts my kids. Get out, NOW!" Ana screamed, starting to sob. My heart broke into pieces every word that came out of her mouth. I slowly walked forward, the pistol following my way. I made it all the way outside to the front door. I turned around, and I looked her in the eyes.

Her green eyes were red and glassy, and her cheeks were puffy. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

She closed her eyes, tears falling down her cheeks. She shook her head, then shut the door straight in my face.

I stood there for a few seconds, taking everything what just happened in my head. I started to shake, then cry. I kicked the side of the door frame, then walked away, not turning back. Anger filled up my insides.

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I absolutely hate crying. It made me feel weak and powerless; like someone is just laughing down at me while I'm struggling.

I haven't touched a beer in four years. I completely changed ever since that day Ana kicked me out of the house. Right after she did, I had to stay at an old friend's house, that is, until I had enough money to stay in a apartment.

I worked as a Realtor. It took me many redos on my application to actually get this job, but I finally got it. Ever since then, I was slowly starting to work my way back up to a good person. Yes, the pay per house per residence was great and more than enough, but that wasn't my main goal.

My main goal was Ana.

I still love her. I never stopped, and I don't think I ever will. I've seen her a few times in public, but she's never noticed me, and I made sure she he didn't so she wouldn't flip out.

The one person I haven't seen in a while is Mara. My youngest daughter who is now 21. I mean, I've seen her on T.V. and such; for she is now perusing her acting career, but I actually wanted to see her physically. I wanted to see how much she's grown since I left. How much of a beautiful lady she has become.

The last time I saw her was when she was 14. She was small and petite, and loved to play lacrosse. She was born, she was literally a bundle of joy. Instead of crying all the times like all babies do, she laughed more than cried.

I miss both of my children so much. All I wanted was a second chance with them; all of them, so they could take me back as their father and husband.

I needed to prove that to them somehow.

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