I Won't Let You Go (Bagginshield)

I Won't Let You Go.

I don't know how long I was locked up, but presently Thorin came to get me. He had given me food and water, so I hadn't starved. But my heart was broken. How could he have treated me this way? I wanted to turn back time. Balin had come to my cell and told me that Thorin was sick with the Dragon Sickness, a sickness that took over his soul and was eating him alive. 

I had asked if there was a cure, but Balin shook his head glumly. "The only thing we can do is hope that somehow his senses will return to normal," he answered. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but it would've been pointless. No one would've been there to hear and no one would have cared. At least, not now.

The only people who came to check on me were Balin, Bofur, and Dwalin. The others weren't allowed to see me, which made me angry. Why was I being treated like an enemy? What had I done to be treated this way? 

As time passed, I began to feel less angry. Thorin need help, and I could help him. He came to my cell one time, and I reminded him of everything that had happened between us, but he didn't seem to remember...or care. But that didn't mean I was going to stop trying to make him remember.

He came back once more. "You said we knew each other?" he spat the words.

"Yes, Thorin. We...never mind. We were really good friends, even closer than friends..."

He sighed. "I've been trying to remember you...but I can't. I'm ashamed to say that I can't remember you, even though you were once very important to me."

I sighed, too. "You are still important to me, Thorin. And even though you don't remember me right now, I won't let you go. You mean to much to me for me to just forget. This is real, what's between us. You'll remember soon, I'm sure of it."

He looked at me then, with a gaze so tender I wanted to cry. "You would not give up on me...even through everything that has happened?"

"Never, Thorin," I said. "I would never give up on you. How can you give up the one thing that has your heart? I belong to you, yes, but in a good way. Not in this cell, I don't belong here. You can be king, I don't have to. Just let me be with you."

Slowly, he began to back away. "I don't believe you."

"But I mean it!" I pleaded. "Every word of it. Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to you?! You saved my life twice, Thorin! Twice! Does that mean nothing?! You're being a complete and total coward! Just face the truth!"

His eyes began to blaze. "Shut up! You know nothing of the world! You left me here and chose to go with those Orcs! Why did you betray me like that? You could've stayed, but no, you chose to go. And you broke my heart!"

"I had to go!" I said, begging him to listen. "If I hadn't, they would have killed Kili...you're kin...and you'd be in a worse state than you're in now. I need you to remember, Thorin! I told you why I had to go...I didn't want to hurt you, but things had to happen. And now, here we are. I said it once, I'll say it again. I won't let you go."

He walked away after that, without saying another word. I slid down the wall against the cold, hard ground. What we'd had was going down in flames. It was being burnt to a cinder, and I couldn't put out the fire. The fire was this dragon sickness. The only way to save what we'd had was to cure Thorin.

Maybe the only way to do that was to give him the Arkenstone.​​​​​​​