Not as Strong as You Think

Chapter 9- Okay

Blaine stayed unmoving, staring at the man in front of him hoping to see the person he's fallen in love with time after time, but instead saw a stranger.

It was only then that he noticed how haggard Kurt had looked. His eyes dropped down, dark circles forming underneath them. Cheek bones were peaking out further than they should have, giving his face a skinny structure. Too skinny. Kurt even held himself differently. His shoulders, which were usually back, came forwards, making his whole body become slouched.

Blaine didn't know who the man in front of him was, but it sure as hell wasn't Kurt. Kurt was a tall boy with a good posture. He never skipped a night of his skin routine. He was witty, and charming, and sarcastic. He was one to make a good joke, and get everyone laughing. And most of all, he was Blaine's. What happened to the Kurt I knew? Blaine thought. Where is he?

"You want to what?" Blaine finally asked, after a long round of silence.

Kurt sighed and shook his head. "I don't want to go back to Lima. I think I should."

"What does that even mean?" Blaine was unaware that he was raising his voice, and his face was progressively getting redder.

"It means," Kurt threw his hands up in emphasis, "I can't do this! I can't pretend like it's okay between you and me because I know it's not. And I'm sorry for hurting you and for making your life hard-really, really hard-"

"You're not hurting me, Kurt. Why would you ever think that? I love-"

"Please, Blaine..." his voice cracked, a desperation lining his words, "Don't make this any harder. Can't you tell I'm trying to help you? Tomorrow I'll be looking up flight times and I'll take the first one out."

Blaine felt like he might die. Like actually die. "I can't breathe," he thought, "This can't be happening..." He shut his eyes, trying not to fall over from the dizziness that overwhelmed him.

"Are you ever coming back?" Blaine asked, his eyes still shut with the patterns swirling beneath his eyelids.

"I may. I just need some time to be with myself only. No New York, no alleyway, no you." Kurt said, quietly.

It was a stab at the heart. Kurt wanted to get away from him. It was his job-Blaine's job- as a boyfriend to protect Kurt, to make him happy, and to be with him every step of the way. None of those things were working out.

Blaine wished that he could have understood what Kurt was trying to tell him. In some ways he did, and he wanted to support him and let him go to focus on himself. That's what he really needed in Lima. But he wanted to hug Kurt more. He wanted to serenade him with Katy Perry, and cuddle with him, and kiss him, and joke around with him, and just be happy with him. 600 miles is the only thing that would keep that from happening. 600 jabs to his soul.

"Okay," it was the hardest word Blaine ever had to say. "If that makes you happy, then go to Lima. Just remember, I'll be right here when you get back."

So now it was the day after. The day after that mess, after that terrible compromise. All that was left to do was to get the ticket, that he was so conveniently avoiding with procrastination in the form of bored activities.

Kurt held his breath, closed his eyes, and...click. The ticket was ordered.

"Lima, here I come."

Kurt's going back to Lima! Don't worry, I'll still have Blaine's POV! I'm excited for the next chapters (haven't planned them out yet, but I'm sure big things are gonna happen)!