Not as Strong as You Think

Chapter 22- Vogue

Kurt felt as if he was going nowhere.

The world was rotating and revolving and so were the people around him, each going to their daily jobs whether it was the responsibility of a paid position or finishing up school.

Blaine went back to NYADA after the holidays were over, where he proved himself in front of Carmen Tibideaux the day he returned. Rachel was in between Broadway shows, Funny Girl long behind her and something new optimistically in front. Meanwhile, she worked at the Spotlight Diner, and complained daily that she wasn't recognized there enough.

And Kurt? Kurt did nothing. Of course, he had his therapy session on Thursdays at 5:00, but he did nothing from his waking time to then, and nothing from 6:00 until the time he goes to sleep. He also did nothing on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. And he felt useless.

"You could get a job," Annie suggested to him at last week's session.

"I did have a job," Kurt said, "Well, kind of. I was a paid intern at Vogue."

"And did you tell them about what happened?"

"No," he sighed, shaking his head, "I had to call my boss and quit."

Annie leaned forward, her head raised from her notebook and looking him in the eyes. Kurt hated it, but said nothing. "Why did you do that?"

He shifted in his seat uncomfortably as he opened his mouth to speak. "The last time I went to Vogue, it didn't end up so well."

Both of them were quiet, but Annie was the quietist. She once again was staring at the notebook, as if she was the one who should be upset. It seemed like she didn't know what to do in that situation, though she was the one who's job was based around it.

"Was it on November the 13th?"

"Yes, it was," Kurt whispered, shutting his eyes for a couple of seconds to calm himself down or to be proactive, as he would probably be struck with visions from that night. That night where the air was so cold and his heart raced so fast. That night in the dark alleyway and the rough fingers. The visions never came.

"What if you work from home?"

He opened his eyes, popped his head up, "What?"

"Well if you work from home, you can avoid any possible threats that you're concerned about now." She said it as if it were obvious, which it was. But it never came to him, it didn't even cross his mind.

"Yeah...I think that'll work."

~~~

It felt weird being on that end of the call. Almost wrong.

It should have been him answering the phone, him going "Hello, I'm Kurt and you've reached Vogue Headquarters. How may I assist you?" That was his job.

"Hi, my name is Kurt Hummel and I'm looking to speak to Isabelle Wright."

Whoever picked up the phone must have thought he was completely crazy to make a call like that. Talk to Ms. Isabelle Wright? As if! There was a short silence, but Kurt sat patiently on the other line, crossing his legs and sitting up straight in a determined matter.

"Let me see if she's available. One second, please." Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. "Your call will be transferred immediately."

And not even two seconds later- "KURT!"

Kurt winced, holding the phone away from his ear and hearing her perfectly still. Isabelle seemed to go on and on, not pausing at all so that her words were just one big sound. "KurtIDontEvenKnowWhatHappenedToYouMySecretaryToldMeThatYouQuitWithNoExplanationAndIWasSoWorriedWellNotThatWorriedBecauseIDidntCallYouButInMyDefenceIDontHaveYourCellAnd-"

"Hi, Isabelle."

"Oh. Hello."

"Listen," Kurt sighed, hiding how uncomfortable he was underneath his powerful tone, "I've called about a couple things, because I think I owe you at least an apology...and whoever knows me would agree that I don't do that often so this is a rare occasion."

Isabelle laughed, and he could almost picture her on the other side. Her in the luxurious space that she called her office, with loads of things that she had nothing to do with, with modern furniture and sketches scattered on her desk.

"So I guess I'll start off by saying that I'm sorry. This internship was one of the best experiences I've had in my life, and to throw all of that away with quitting so suddenly is a regret that I'll always have. Especially because I never told you why I had to quit..." Kurt hoped that he could get through this without getting interrupted, and mostly without breaking into tears. "You deserve an explanation... it's not fair to you.

"The last time I went here, which was November 13th, I walked home, like I always did..."

Instead, he walked a couple blocks, which had worked for him ever since he started at his internship.

"Except this time, on my way back- well I'm not going to get into details- but I..." Stop stalling, just say it.

The empty glass came down on Kurt's head in slow motion, or so it seemed. He could see his whole life flashing before his eyes, as he knew it would his final moments on the Earth.

"I was- uh-..." Visions kept popping into his head, interrupting him from what he was trying to say. Even talking about it felt like reliving every single second of that night, and he could feel a single tear slip down his face.

He was slipping in and out of consciousness, and when he was aware of what was happening, everything was fuzzy.

"Kurt?" Isabelle whispered, "Kurt, is everything alright?" She knew that it wasn't.

Kurt was vaguely aware of his clothes being ripped off of his pale body. Not even if he tried, he couldn't shake the touch of the old man off.

"I was sexually assaulted."

He could feel the man's fingertips feeling him everywhere. Everywhere. Kurt was crying the whole time he was awake, with his bare shoulders shaking at every sob.

Kurt felt like he couldn't breathe for a split second, like his lungs had just bursted inside of him, and he was about to die. He wanted nothing more than to hang up the phone and lay on the floor and cry, but he couldn't. Kurt wouldn't give up this time.

"And I don't want to dwell on that, because I don't want your sympathy or anything like that," he took a big breath in, trying to steady the spinning world, "It was something that happened,
it sucked and was the worst thing I've ever experienced, but it's time to move on and rebuild my life...

"So I guess that brings me to what I called for and that is my spot back as an intern. If you would allow it, I would love to continue working with you on the brilliant designs that we would discuss, but maybe at home. I've already worked on setting up a video camera so that we could talk face to face, I have a fax machine also, to send you my designs, and-"

"Kurt?"

"Yes?" He responded uneasily, worry coursing through his veins.

"Welcome back to Vogue."

"Wow!" Kurt's heart dropped while a smile popped up on his face, bright and wide as if nothing had changed. "Thank you! Thank you so much, Isabelle! I won't let you down, I promise!"

"I know you won't," he could feel her smile on the other end. "Oh, and by the way, what do you think about leather?"

I'm not a fan of this chapter, but whatever. I hope you liked the flashbacks from the Introduction of this story.

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