Blaine watched his whole world fall apart. He didn't even know it was gone, until it was. Tiny cracks silently crept onto his glass life, building up without even being noticed. One moment they were there, one moment it was all over, his life in a million little shards.
Since the day Kurt left Blaine standing in the middle of the airport, everything was fine. Not good, not bad. Fine. Passable. So-so. Meanwhile, the cracks were cutting through. Blaine was hurting, but he'd convinced himself he was fine. He was always fine. Always the happy-go-lucky boy with the bow tie and suspenders. He couldn't break. But he was breaking.
Blaine knew it was bad when he didn't feel like gelling. Those two weeks went by smoothly, each day just like the one before. And then he got that storage notification. Hell no he wasn't going to upgrade past the free 5 GB. So it was time for some deleting. Goodbye, Kardashian Game. Goodbye, Celebrity Crossword. But it wasn't enough.
Well this sucks, Blaine thought, running his hand over his slicked back hair, I was an A-lister. What a waste.
So Blaine went to his Camera Roll. Bad choice. He was slapped in the face with all of the pictures. It was Kurt. Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. Picture after picture. Them kissing in front of the Statue of Liberty, Kurt trying to lick the vanilla ice cream off of his nose, crossing his eyes, Kurt and Blaine posing at the wax museum with Lady Gaga, them in the choir room. It was a drug, and Blaine couldn't get enough. Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling through the memories, trying to stop but getting drawn in again.
Blaine reached the end of the Camera Roll, having looked at every picture that came his way, and felt the tears on his cheeks before he even knew they were there. It startled him, the tears. He'd never been so not in control before. Come to think of it, Blaine wasn't in control of a lot of things in his life nowadays.
Blaine didn't feel like gelling that day, or any of the other days of the week for that matter. He went to all of his classes with his unruly hair, and even as he walked through the hallways earning stares, he didn't seem to care.
Blaine came home one of those days (they all felt the same at some point) to find a man on his couch stuffing his face with Lays potato chips.
"How'd you get in here?"
Sam shrugged, and swallowed before replying, "Picked the lock. That doesn't matter. The real question is: what's up with your hair? Dude, you look like Chase Matthews' fraternal twin."
"Chase Matthews?"
"The guy from Zoey 101?" he scanned Blaine's confused face. "Whatever. Not my fault you've been living under a rock."
Blaine plopped down next to Sam and laid his head back. "Really though, man, what's wrong?"
He rubbed his forehead with his palm and sighed loudly. "Since Kurt left, I haven't slept, I lost my appetite, I don't even gel on weekdays," Blaine said, recalling the nights where he just laid down and stared at the ceiling until morning, losing track of time completely as he visualized Kurt running into his arms.
"This is pretty serious then."
"Hm."
Sam placed an arm around his shoulder. "You wanna go to a strip club? Makes me feel better. I know this one place just around the corner."
"1) I'm gay. 2) I don't enjoy watching high school drop outs with two kids try to get dinner on the table and a pack of cigarettes by being a stranger's face's top hat. And 3) Nothing's going to make me feel better."
Sam held his arms up in defense. "Woah. Calm down, The Incredible Hulk of Teen Angst."
Blaine placed his head in hands, while his elbows rested on his knees. "Sorry, Sam, I just...I just really miss him."
It was an understatement. He missed Kurt more than anything. He wanted him more than he'd ever wanted anything in the world. More than any hair gel, any Katy Perry concert tickets, food, water, air. Kurt was anything he'd ever need. He was his air, and Blaine couldn't breathe.
Blaine's life was in pieces at that point, and the only glue that could put it back together was in Lima, Ohio, 596 miles from their apartment in Bushwick, New York. He was broken.
Long time, no see! Sorry for not updating in forever, but I hope you enjoy this chapter!
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Not as Strong as You Think
Fanfiction(COMPLETED) After Kurt was raped, he has to learn to get through his fears, cope with the trauma, and most of all, stay strong. With the help of his friends, family, and boyfriend, Blaine, Kurt must conquer his inner demons and depression. *TRIGGER...
