"Didn't know you knew how to do these things, dude. I'm kinda impressed."
Kurt rolled out from underneath the car, wiping the grease off of his face with the back of his hand. "Secret talent, I guess. Look at that, the gay guy got his hands dirty!" He yelled sarcastically, throwing up his hands.
Finn crossed his arms over his chest. "I never said that. Really, though, it's good to have you back."
Kurt smiled a little, but it didn't reach his eyes. It never did, anymore. "Yeah, it's good to be here."
Lies. Lie after lie after lie. He couldn't stop. He didn't want to stop. Lying was the only thing he knew, from when his mother died to when he was being tortured by Karofsky to that night in the alleyway. He would always say he was fine, that he was happy, that he loved life. Lies.
Truth be told, Kurt hated working on cars. But it was a distraction from what was happening. His mind was busy, and that gave him a couple hours to be sane before the nightmares came. Kurt needed something to do to pull him away from reality. When his shift was over, it was a smack hard in the face. But at least he was still breathing.
________________________________
Kurt had always been an early riser. Whether it was working on a design or fixing his hair, there was always something to do. Since he left New York and his life behind, there was nothing to wake up early for. A habit is hard to break, I guess.
Kurt felt like a child sitting on the top of the stairs and leaning over, just to see the shadows of everyone sitting at the kitchen table talking. He recalled how, when he was younger, he could hear the conversations between his mom and dad, and that's how he found out she was sick. Nothing good ever comes from snooping. He should've known better.
Kurt squinted to make out the sharp silhouettes of his step-brother and dad. It wasn't like Finn to get up this early, so he questioned his eyesight, thinking at first that Carole was broad-shouldered and 6 feet tall.
"He keeps leaving me messages," Finn whispered. "Only in the middle of the night. I think he's sleep talking. Whatever it is, though, it's keeping me up, and it's making me hate the dude more than I already do."
Kurt listened closely, going through people in his head, theorizing who it could be. Maybe it was someone from high school. Karofsky? Azimio? Or maybe it was Rachel...Finn called her the she-hulk sometimes (only after their devastating breakup) which would explain why they were called a 'he'.
"You know it's not his fault, Finn," Burt replied, sighing.
"Yeah, I know, it just helps to blame someone...Listen to this though."
The audio played loudly, and it bounced off the walls of the kitchen.
"Kurt! Kurt it's me, Blaine!" Kurt's heart stopped in his chest, his breathing hitched.
"Just called to let you know that you broke my heart. I hope you're happy with yourself now" Blaine kept getting increasingly louder, as the fury inside of him built up. It came out as a jumble of words. Half the time, he was slurring. "You left me, Kurt! You left me alone and I hate you for it! I've given you everything and you just leave me?"
His voice cracked, and there was a short silence before he continued talking in a whisper. "Why would you leave me? Am I not good enough? Why aren't I good enough for you? I miss you, Kurt...I'm sorry..."
So he was trying to call him, not Finn? Now that he'd thought about it, Hummel was awfully close to Hudson.
Blaine would have to get over him. He would have to forget him, erase him completely out of his life. If he had a brain, that's what he would do. If he didn't want to get hurt.
Sadly, Blaine didn't think with his brain. He thought with his heart. That's what Kurt used to love about him. At that point, Kurt hated him for it. But Kurt hated himself more.
Kurt's heart ached as the line went dead.
"Let's not tell Kurt about this, okay? Block the kid's number, he'll catch the hint eventually. I don't want him trying to call Kurt anymore, can't have him saying that stuff," Burt mumbled, shaking his head.
Kurt hurt for the man, the one that he left behind, alone, in New York. The one that he should be mad at, for not getting over him, for still caring, even though he shouldn't. The man that's subconscious is telling him the wrong things, and tries to call Kurt in the middle of the night.
He'd never felt so guilty.
YOU ARE READING
Not as Strong as You Think
Fanfiction(COMPLETED) After Kurt was raped, he has to learn to get through his fears, cope with the trauma, and most of all, stay strong. With the help of his friends, family, and boyfriend, Blaine, Kurt must conquer his inner demons and depression. *TRIGGER...
