disconnected / l.r.h

6❤️

September 2, 2015

I was sitting next to Calum and Louis on the couch. My friends and I were watching this movie I wasn't really listening. The whole time my attention was drawn to the blonde boy sitting on the floor scrolling through Twitter.

Being the obsessed fan I was and always will be I put Luke's and the rest of the guys tweet notifications on a while back. Just to make sure everything is well when I was away.

I saw Luke type on his iPhone keyboard from the distance. Almost immediately after my phone chimed and everyone including Luke turned to face my direction.

"Adrianna," Harry speaks up, "we're trying to watch a movie. Keep the texting to a low limit." he said, only Luke and I know it was the tweet because we exchanged glances.

"Gotcha." I giggled entering my password to unlock the mysterious tweet Luke has sent out to his fans.

@Luke5SOS: Thinking about a beautiful girl can be painful.

@Luke5SOS: "It's been a while but I still feel the same 😁🎧"

@Luke5SOS: I'm sorry...

I wonder what's going through his crazy mind right now. I look up from my screen and see him looking at me then immediately looking back down on his phone when me made eye contact.

@Luke5SOS: -always?
-forever.

holy shit.

*flashback*

April 28, 2014

The spring atmosphere gently flowed through my bedroom on this happy day.  Luke was just about to start his tour with the band and emotions were flying everywhere.

Laying on top of him and cuddling him tightly I opened my eyes to one of the most beautifulest sights. The boy who saved me who kept me warm and at home at night, the one who never left me. He was the one I fell in love with. From every feature to the next, I was deeply in this type of trance and I never wanted to escape it.

I see Luke- dimpled smile in his sleep, eyelashes curled up and he looked so gentle. I rested my head on his heart and he wakes up a few moments later. I felt terrible. He needs his sleep.

"Baby girl?"

"Yes?"

"How long have we been laying here?"

"An hour- two?"

"Aw, I'm going to miss this. A lot."

"Me too." Luke lifts me chin and cups me cheeks leaving a small kiss on my forehead.

"Luke?" I begin to whisper and he smiles at me. "Yes princess?"

"Don't leave me?"

"Never, I love you baby girl."

"I love you too."

"Always?" He says taking my fingers and interlocking them with his.

"Forever, Luke,"

****

September 13, 2015

Since I've been pretty much lost with myself the boys invited me to their last couple of tour dates, today was the last one. We were now in Florida, I love it here.

And Luke's been so nice to me, I really appreciate that.

"I leave tomorrow Luke; back to California." I pout sitting next to him in his dressing room.

But I just wanted to get home, my own bed and my family.. I miss that. It must be hard for them, being away from their homes for a long time and nonstop flights and shows. I gotta give them credit.

Luke looks at me and half smiles. "I enjoyed having you around Adrianna."

"Thank you for having me tag alone, it was very well of you guys to do this for me."

"We love you Adrianna, I love you." And those words hit at my heart. I knew he didn't love me the way he used too but hey, him admitting this makes me so pleased.

"That means so much to me honestly. I've just been so lost and having you boys and the one direction boys are just so great. I'm very thankful." He nods looking down. I hated the awkward talks like this. It makes moments like this forgettable and I hated that. My therapist always says that if you were to forget something that once meant so much to you that it wasn't really important. But how would Luke not be important to me? Sure, I may have forgotten a few things we have been through and done but that doesn't mean he isn't important to me. He was my first true love and I think I'll always find a way back to thinking about him.

"I uh- I wrote this song, it's going to be on the next album. I- uh"

"That's awesome Luke? What's it called?"

"Invisible. I can play some of it right now for you if you want- there is an acoustic guitar right over there."  He points across the room to a guitar on its stand in the corner. I'd love to hear this song.

"I'd love to hear it, Luke."

"Alright.."

"Another day,
Of painted walls and football on the TV
No one sees me
I fade away,
Lost inside a memory of someone's life
It wasn't mine

I was already missing before the night I left
Just me and my shadow and all of my regrets
Who am I? Who am I when I don't know myself?
Who am I? Who am I?
Invisible

Wasted days,
Dreaming of the times I know I can't get back
Seems I just lost track
Looking on
As all of life's colours seem to fade to grey
I just walked away

I was already missing before the night I left
Just me and your shadow and all of my regrets
Who am I? Who am I when I don't know myself?
Who am I? Who am I?
Invisible

Who am I? Who am I when I don't know myself?
Who am I? Who am I?
Invisible
Who am I? Who am I when I don't know myself?
Who am I? Who am I?
Invisible

Another day,
The walls are built to keep me safe
I can't escape,
It's too late"

"Woah, Luke." His voice is amazing- gives me chills and makes me smile every time. He's so admirable I can't even.

"Yeah, it's just something."

"You're amazing Luke, you really are." I get up from the sofa and walk over to where he was just preforming for me. I look at him and smile, he looks lost for words. This was just so weird and so amazing. I don't know how I feel towards Luke. He broke my heart. But he's the only one who can mend it.

"I miss you Adrianna." He says and I instantly embrace him in a tight warm hug. I miss being in his arms. But now I am, and it feels like home.

I AM SO SAD UHH