Author Games: A Knight's Valor

Task One: Scores

Lemaria Male: John Tommson

NOTES: A lot of sentences here were choppy. It wasn't bad, but the writing could be made better. The character was spot on but there were spots that were completely unedited. Try to work harder in his.

SCORE: 11.3

Lemaria Female: Ren Lancaster

NOTES: While your attention to detail was very well done and you had brilliantly thought it out, there were some technical errors. Your dialogue tags had some definite errors that could be fixed. I enjoyed the descriptions and the interactions. In places it did feel a bit clunky and the sentences grew tediously long at times. Otherwise, it was a great entry!

SCORE: 12.3

Valden Male: Tybolt Maddox

Late send in, no notes available. Score pending.

Valden Female: Colette Bennett

NOTES: This was a great entry! There's not much I can pick at to find wrong. Mostly it felt a bit lacking in description of the environment. You pack a LOT of detail for the people, but I've got NO clue as to what the room looks like aside from maybe one or two sentences. Try to balance the descriptions a bit more.

SCORE: 13.0

Tanad Male: Cynesige Tolbert

NOTES: It was a good entry, but it felt a bit lacking. In what I can't exactly say, but it definitely felt like something was missing. I would have liked to see more of his inner thoughts. The dialogue was nice, but in one part it got a bit confusing because after someone else's dialogue there was no tag and an "I" sentence came immediately afterwards, which was a tad confusing.

SCORE: 12.7

Tanad Female: Oak Agra Kaci

NOTES: This was a nice entry, but the interactions were very little. While the writing was pleasant there was a few typos and it could have been edited over some more. Mostly, though, there was barely any description of anything that was happening or any of the places she went. That took away from the entry as when reading I couldn't form an image of the scene at all.

SCORE: 9.5

Miras Male: Vere Lennox

NOTES: Nice writing, but it had an abrupt end and felt short. The interactions here felt a bit stiff aside from those with Mavary. I enjoyed the laugh at the beginning dealing with the neither regions and hope to read more from his unique point of view.

SCORE: 12.3

Miras Female: Trustin Mee

NOTES: While this was a good first entry the writing was a little rough. Closer to the end it began to flow more, so it may just be the getting into a new character thing going on here. A few sentences/paragraphs were worded awkward, but otherwise this was a good start!

SCORE: 12.2

Cadosa Male: Zenith Nadir

Late send in, no notes available. Score pending.