Author Games: A Knight's Valor

Task Five: Scores

BONUSES

First Entry: Alexis Rovel (+1 to score)

Second Entry: Rhaegar (+1 to score)

Queen's Approval: Alexis Rovel, for our favorite Royal Court (+250 Words to next Task)

Poetry In Motion: Eleos Eiríni for going above and beyond our expectations in his poem (+1 to score)

How?: Mavary Valls, for going from: "There was a smokiness to the air, like a choking fixture; grayness swirled about like dangerous wisps, autonomously floating to the throats of patients, hurt peoples in the hospital beds" to: "a blackish-grey, headband-like thing" (+1 to score)

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Any negative number in brackets (Ex. [-1]) represents points deducted by special ballots.

Lemaria Female: Ren Lancaster

NOTES: Your writing is good, but in this entry there were a few things that stood out to us. The first is that in your writing, we knew the thoughts and opinions of people other than Ren, which we should not have had a way of knowing. Ren's internal thoughts can be shown, but the internal thoughts of others is a little bit unusual. Another thing we noticed is your description. While your style is very well done, you might want to consider adding more description when it comes to what is happening around your character as it is very easy to get lost.

SCORE: 12

Valden Female: Colette Bennett

DROPPED OUT

Tanad Male: Cynesige Tolbert

NOTES: We cannot give you notes for this task, but TessRebellious has offered to give you notes for Task Four if you ask.

SCORE: AUTOMATIC 12

Tanad Female: Oak Agra Kaci

DROPPED OUT

Miras Female: Trustin Mee

DROPPED OUT

Cadosa Male: Zenith Nadir

NOTES: You write well, but this entry was not one of your better. It was very brief, only covering the bare minimum of the task, but still doing it artfully. There were some dialogue mistakes, and we felt as if we were missing a lot of the detail we normally see from you.

SCORE: 10.5

Cadosa Female: Momo Seafare

NOTES: You and Kimiko appear to be in the same boat. Thank you for turning in what you did, we really appreciate it, but the only advice we can give you is to write more in the future.

SCORE: 9.5

Galesia Female: Alexis Rovel

NOTES: You've improved a lot throughout the course of the competition, and we know you can only further your talents. Your writing really stood out in this task, and we were all very proud of you for it. Continue to work on your descriptions and try to show more than you tell.

SCORE 14.3 [+1]= 15.3

Oceaf Male: Killian Henry

NO ENTRY

Oceaf Female: Fennett Abernathy

DROPPED OUT

Raleith Male: Mavary Valls

NOTES: As a consistent contender in our competitions, there's nothing we love more than seeing you improve. And the amount your writing has gotten better in the time we've known you is astronomical. This was a brilliant entry, full of beautiful prose and even "blackish gray headband-like things". Keep up the good work, but remember that you do have a tendency to get carried away with your flowery words and sometimes flowery is not always the best option.

SCORE: 14.8 [-1]= 13.8

Raleith Female: Aloïsa Beaumarchais

NOTES: We cannot offer you any sort of critique, and for that we are sorry. Just write more and keep improving, as every letter gets better.

SCORE: 14.3

Alian Male: Eleos Eiríni

NOTES: Eleos never ceases to surprise us, and this entry was no different. The poetry was beautiful, you turned what should have been a challenge into a work of art. There was one instance we could see where you head-hopped, and a few places where your word structure was rocky. We suggest reading some parts of your entry aloud, especially if you're uncertain about how they sound.

SCORE: 14.4 [+1]= 15.4

Alian Female: Kimiko Kanai

NOTES: You didn't expect to get an entry in, so even by giving us what you have, we applaud you. For this task, you were given a safety net of 12 to fall back on, and I'm afraid that's the highest score we can offer you. Our only advice is to write more, because what you did give us was very good.

SCORE: 12

Migolith Male: Rhaegar

NOTES: Your entry was good, but there were a lot of technical problems with it. We understand that this is not always your strong suit, but in this entry it was more difficult to look past. There were several instances of broken grammar and flow issues. If you would like, we would be more than happy to help you make a "cheat sheet" for these sort of instances that you can use while writing. Other than that, you style is beautiful and we can't wait to see more from you.

SCORE: 11.5 [-.5]= 11 [+1]= 12