Perspectives

17. Nahuel

I walked out of the office standing in front of the two men dressed in the dark blue polo T-shirts.  My mom followed, crying.  Sobbing uncontrollably.  An act for sure.  She was trying to fool everyone into thinking that she loved me.  I just walked, silent tears rolling from my eyes.  The men instructed my mom to follow them in her car while the rain fell rapidly on my face as we left the school.  My tears were soon impossible to distinguish from the rain.  I felt eyes on me from all of the classrooms in the main hallway as I walked in front of the men toward my mother's car.  

I climbed into the front seat and my mom climbed into the driver's seat wiping a fake tear from her eye with a freshly manicured hand that was shaking expertly.  God, she was a good actress, I thought as she turned the key in the ignition while shaking.  She looked to me, her hair perfectly messy as though she had thrown it up just before coming to get her son in a fluster.  I knew that she wore her hair like this on purpose to give off just the image she wanted to.  She wanted everyone to think that she was so busy when very few people knew that outside of her day-care business, she was very relaxed.  She wiped her tear-covered hand on her blue overalls were covered with paint from the adorable kids that she was constantly cursing behind their backs. 

She looked away quickly as though looking at me put her through pain.  Looking straight at the road, she drove, following the men through the pouring rain as I silently sobbed, listening to the rhythmic beat of the wind-sheild wipers on the pestered glass.  For some reason, at this moment, everything that passed me seemed so beautiful.  The passing trees, with their leaves being slightly batted down with the rain, looked so much more beautiful than usual.  The buildings and houses, just a dwelling or a place of business that supported people, that held life up for people to live and prosper.  Everything that i usually looked upon and frowned looked so amazing right now.  The wet lawns that sat in front of houses,  the shimmering with rain streets, the raindrop covered cars, and the dirty gray sky.  This life was different than people made it out to be.  Nobody saw as I did.  Everyone had their own perspective.  

I was so unhappy.  Why couldn't things just be easy.  I want to be happy so badly, but everything is so difficult for me.  I want Jacey.  I want my beautiful Jacey.  I wish I could change and be better.  My life is nothing to be proud of.  I could see just what everybody would say about me after I was gone.  They'd say that I was weak and I couldn't deal with my own self.  But nobody understands.  To me, everybody is just a person passing through their share of existence.  Why shouldn't my share be shorter? I wasn't important to anyone anyway.  

Except for Hero.  

Hero.

Hero.

She was amazing.  She was beautiful.  But I didn't love her.  I loved Jacey.  And I loved Jacey more than I loved anyone in the world.  

My mother stopped outside of the place I had been waiting to reach.  She followed the men into the parking lot and occupied one of the spaces.  After she stopped the car, she sighed and looked at me.

"Are you ready?" she asked me with a sympathetic look that was more fake than the eyelashes she glued to her eyes every morning.  

I looked into her eyes, makeup stained from fake tears, and shook my head no.  She looked at me sympathetically again and grabbed my hand.

"Come on, hun, lets go inside.  This will be good for you."

I unbuckled my seatbelt and stepped out of the car.  I let the rain fall on my head for a while before pulling my hood onto my head and following my mother into the exact place I never wanted to end up.

The place was a series of huge, boring grey buildings that looked like a hospital.  We followed the men to my "department."  I was so sick of being categorized that I didn't even want to know what my "department" was.  It came out as a slur of words from the man's mouth.  We entered the gray building behind them.  The moment I entered, I knew what this place would be like.  There was a waiting room in front with about five chairs in it.  A locked door stood at the opposite side of the waiting room.  The man stepped foward and un-locked he door with a key that hung around his neck.  A loud bland beeping noise echoed and he pushed the door open.  A bored looking woman sat, reading a book by the desk.  She looked up and nodded to the man.