[Bruce is online]
[Alfred is online]
[Dick is online]
[Selina is online]
Dick: Where’s Tim?
Bruce: He’s at school... Wait... Damn, I can’t say it! Selina, how did you get online? O.O
Selina ^.^ It was easy. All I had to do was hack into the systems. That and Dick told me about the chatroom. Didn’t you, Dick?
Dick: ... *cough* I might have... Er mentioned *cough* it.
Bruce: Wheeeeen?
Dick: *mumbles* When Selina and I spent the night...
Bruce: I HEARD THAT! ... Seriously? I have no idea how old she is, and still you’re going after her? Really? She could be a sixty-year-old hooker for all you know!
[Barbara is online]
Dick: No, she isn’t! She’s young and she’s beautiful, and she makes me feel like a man!
Barbara: ...
[Barbara is offline]
Alfred: Did you find that a little... odd, Master Bruce?
Bruce: No. Barbara has always been a strange one... Wanting to be Ba- I mean, uh, wanting to be bald. Yes. That is what I saw. Bald.
Selina: She wanted to be bald? O.O :3
Bruce: Yes. Because that’s what I said. It’s not like I said Batgirl or anything... :D
Dick: Why does that face have to be so cute?
Bruce: O.O Uh... Dick, is there anything you haven’t told us? Because I know we’re close and all, but, uh...
Dick: What are you- Oh, man NO! No way in hell! I was talking about Selina!
Bruce: Right. Yes. Okay.
Dick: Yeah...
Bruce:... Do you think mine is too?
Dick: ...?
Bruce: Do you think my face is cute too?
Dick: What? Wh-
Bruce: Even just a little? Maybe a smidge? A teeny-weeny, littttle bit?
Selina: Bruce, I think you’re adorable, even for an olde-
Bruce: Selina, was your name in any of those questions that I asked?
Selina: Yes.
Bruce: When?
Selina: “Selina, how did you get online? O.O”
Bruce: Smart-ass.
Dick: Nice-ass.
Alfred: I shall fetch the donkey from the back garage then, Master Bruce.
Bruce: Alfred, wait!
[Alfred is offline]
Dick: We all need a donkey!
Bruce: ... *turns to Selina* I wasn’t asking you. I was asking Richard!
Selina: God, Bruce, why don’t you and ‘Richard’ swap names – because you’re a dick!
Dick: I feel uncomfortable... *.*
Bruce: Dick, you never answered my question.
Dick: ...What question?
Bruce: Do you think I’m cute?
Dick: Bruce, you’re like my Dad... That would be a little creepy.
Bruce: But I’m not your Dad. Or your Mum. Or even your dog. So what do you say?
Dick: ...Fine!
Bruce: *fist pump Ba- Bruce Wayne style* So...?
Dick: Yes, Bruce. I think that you are very cute and very athletic and well-built (like moi c;), but yes. Very cute.
Bruce: Would you call me... sexy? ^.^
Dick: Dude!
Bruce: C’mon! Say it, you know you want to!
Dick: But-
Bruce: You will not be able to have any girls over for a week!
Dick: Bruce, I live in Blüdhaven, so you wouldn’t have any control of any of the ladies there.
Bruce: You wanna bet? ^.0
Dick: ...
Bruce: *seedy grin*
[Barbara is online]
Dick: Fine! You’re sexy and cute! What – should I add ‘and I wanna screw you?’ Fine! You’re sexy and cute and I totally wanna screw you! Hear me? SCREW YOU!
Barbara: ...Oh, God. Why?
[Barbara is offline]
Bruce: Wow... You didn’t have to go that far. That’s really creepy. I’m basically your dad here, Dick. You know how awkward that makes things?
Dick: Bu- bu- bu...
Bruce: I’m sorry... I need time alone. I need to sort out my priorities...
[Bruce is offline]
Selina: So... Mr. Wayne is offline... You two just brightened my day. But it’s not like I couldn’t have just stayed at home with my cats.
Dick: Y-Y-Y-You’re... You’re... You’re...
Selina: I’m a what?
Dick: God, you’re a goddamn cat lady!
Selina: *snares* Your point?
Dick: No-nothing. No point. Everything’s rounded. Round as Bruce.
Selina: Are you calling Bruce fat? Because he’s not.
Dick: No, I’m not calling Bruce fat.
[Bruce is online]
Bruce: I have everyth-... I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT MY OUTFIT MADE MY BUTT LOOK SMALLER! *cries*
[Bruce is offline]
Selina:... O.O Should I ask?
Dick:... I’d rather you didn’t.
Selina:... Right...
Dick:... Yeah...
Selina: Well... You wanna come over and give Lil’ Mr Senile a chance to recuperate?
Dick: On my way, baby.
Selina: One last thing?
Dick: What’s that, baby?
Selina: Call me baby one more time. I DARE YOU.
Dick: Can I call you maybe? ;)
Selina: ... >:(
Dick: O.O He. Hehe... Heeee... Am I still coming over?
[Selina is offline]
Dick: Thank God Tim isn’t online.
[Tim is online]
Tim: Hey, Dick! How’s it going? Gimme a minute. I need to read what I’ve missed out on.
Dick: Oh, crap.
[Dick is offline]
Tim: O.O So glad Bruce didn’t ask me...
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hey, hey! Thanks to the people who have read this! It means a lot! ^.^ I hope you enjoyed it :D Oh, and one more thing.
‘T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S’ There. I am done.
-Tianna Wayne
YOU ARE READING
Holy Chatroom, Batman! (Batman)
FanfictionEver wonder what Batman and his heroic gang do in their spare time (apart from Bruce 'being Batman')? Well, I've managed to hack into Batman's chat log, to see all the drama that unravels off of the superhero big screen. Love will be revealed, llama...
