The Link

Chapter 2 - Sam

Stinky's butt was disgusting. A newfound respect for my mother grew in me as I lifted legs, shifted them this way and that, using way too many wipes to remove the foulness. The tingling started again, so I switched hands which seemed to stall the effect.

"You're gross, Stinky," I said, trying not to gag. She just smiled. Anything I would say or do seemed to please her. "Your butts all red now. What did you eat? It's like toxic waste." More smiles and part of a laugh. I had to switch hands again.

"I got it on my damn fingers," I said, pulling another wipe out. Stinky seemed to enjoy my complaining. I had to admit, I enjoyed her smiles. I always figured being a parent was a sucker play. I was beginning to see the appeal. Her happiness was contagious.

I pulled away the soiled diaper and filled it with nasty wipes, folding the grossness away. I tucked the clean diaper under Stinky's red butt. It took me two tries at taping it shut. It was too loose the first time.

"There, isn't that better?" I asked her. She kicked her legs at me, obviously pleased with her clean ass. It was strange, looking down at her. At that moment, I was all she had. My hands found her feet and pumped them back and forth like she was riding a bike. She thought it was a fabulous game. The tingling began again. This time, I didn't let go.

Dreams, fabulous dreams. My own dreams made whole. Paths to achieving them no longer seemed insurmountable. My mental fortitude grew as fast as my potential. I saw how I could shape the world, adding instead of subtracting, building instead of weakening. I liked myself for the first time in years. I let go of Stinky's feet and breathed deep. She smiled. I knew then I would make good on my lies. Stinky was going to Portland. She was too important to ignore.

Stinky and I sat, splitting an apple juice box. I was able to squeeze half of it into one of the bottles without getting everything sticky. She was pretty good about helping to hold the bottle. We were partners in crime now. I had thrown the fouled diaper and wipes as deep into the desert as I could. The odor had been too much to bear. Stinky did nothing to stop me, so I labeled her an accessory to my blatant disregard for the Arizona littering laws. Stinky and I were badass.

Eventually, another vehicle would come down the road. It was a lonely two-lane road used mostly for ranch access. As the heat of the day wound down, someone would want to take a trip to civilization. If not, it would be a very long walk. One I wouldn't attempt with the sun up.

I settled Stinky into her car seat, buckling her back in. Leaving her in the shade, I retrieved the pot I had been transporting, wrapped it in one of the blankets and stashed it off the side of the road, behind a saguaro cactus that was hosting a few scraggly bushes at its base. I was taking a risk that it wouldn't be found. Losing a delivery was not a healthy thing to do. Since I had stopped bleeding, I changed into a clean shirt I had in my travel bag. The other blanket, I used to cover the poor woman. A task I found difficult.

I couldn't find a purse and it didn't feel right to search the body. I wondered if I would ever know who loved me. The second bag from Stinky's car held some women's clothes and toiletries. At the bottom of the bag, I found a thick roll of twenty dollar bills. I transferred the few things of Stinky's into the diaper bag, plus the money. Just shy of three thousand dollars. Stinky's inheritance, more than enough to get us to Portland.

I looked at the time on my phone and thought I should wait thirty minutes before opening another juice box. I had it worked out to get us to sunset. It was so damn hot; even sweat evaporated before it could soak clothes. After it got dark, we would have to start walking. We spent our waiting time talking. Well, I talked, and Stinky listened. She was a wonderful listener, unlike all the women in my past. She laughed at my jokes and just about anything else I spoke about.