Thoughts of a Million Stars

Thankful

There comes to a point when she had almost thrown her life to hell. She was so devastated, annoyed, irritated, and alone for somehow she felt dumped. She thought she is more like a trash. She hated life, for life alone has done nothing but torture her until the last breathe of hers.

She felt like loosing the home and people whom she loved and have loved her in her glory days. She felt like being cheated by the fate, perhaps destiny. She had wanted to curse the world for being so unkind towards her, 'just why did you make me believe in fortunes and miracles of life if you'll get it back later on? Why the hell did You do this to me? Have I not become a good servant? Have I gotten that evil that you are punishing me?'

As far as her memory is concerned, she's been a good daughter, fair girlfriend, and a  great friend. She's into charities and has never forgotten to call Him. What have she done that she had to go through all the sufferings?

Her family that she once thought as ideal suddenly got broken, and so her mother died due to such pressure and stress. No less than her father that has gone crazy. Her boyfriend cheated on him and elope with another girl. Lastly, her friends left her due to some family matters of their own, regarding responsibilities and obligations. She's nothing but a crap now.

She has what the material world can offer, but the world the she has gone living with, was banished. She became so miserable that no one seems to be of any help for her, not even God. She drowned herself into the depth of the oceans in the pacific. She's lost in a space of liquors, cigarettes and vices of the world.

Then one day, she fell ill. She found out that she has cancer of the liver, together with severe heart ailment. As she was stuck in the four corners of the room and was jailed into that  hospital vicinity, she met a kid which is a cancer fighter. That little girl is now bald due to some sessions of chemo therapy.

While she's standing at the corridor, she saw that girl running through the garden, bearing some 'forgets-me-not' flowers on her head. She went by to approach the kid. "hey, kid. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be lying on the bed and taking some rest? You look pale.". The girl just shrugged and flush a  great smile. "Maybe, later. I want to enjoy the moment. For I don't know when will this end. I don't think I had much time to cherish it, I don't wanna waste it either by just lying on my bed, waiting for death to get my last breathe." just by that, the kid run through, again.

She's struck by the girl's words. She had thrown her life unto the gates of hell and is now left to the cliff of death itself. She realized how stupid she has become for taking life for granted and making the worst out of it. She's damn mad to herself and so now she have decided to make things better until the last breathe comes.

By the next morning, she held a mass for her mother and father in their museum and with a little celebration, they ate. Next thing she does was to approach her ex-boyfriend whom for a moment, she cursed. By then she found out that her ex broke up with the girl whom he elope with.

Her ex tried to pursue her but she refused to and decided to just be friends with him. Of course, she manage to catch up with her old friends, especially those that are abroad. Surprisingly, that gives her joy and acceptance. It made her free from everything, and so, she is overflowing with happiness and contentment.

For many, you are judged by how you have lived but for me, it is how you will die. Living a life in this world with such pleasure and happiness is something that is great. But a life without hardships and falldowns isn't life at all. You wouldn't enjoy victory without hindrances. It is the obstacles that make life worth fighting for. It is the tears and battlecries that you wanted to smile and be happy. It is your every fall that you wanted to rise above. Most of all, it is your every failure that is keeping that desire to success.

There are times that you would want to surrender and dump your life so easily, don't be. One life is precious enough to be wasted by unreasonable thoughts. We are just people, a human being who keeps on making mistakes, a man who has weaknesses and vulnerabilities. But this is the main reason why we are the highest form of human being; we are bound to make choices. Choices that will surely lead us to where, what and how we wanted to be.

We are destined to walk on the crossroads but it is still on our decisions on how are we gonna make choices down those paths. You can always pause for a breather, but always be reminded to walk further until you reach the end. By then, you'll realize that everything is worth the journey.

People took a stand from their seats and joyously clapping their hands up to the air as she finished her speech to this charity event for cancer patients. It is being attended by several businessmen, celebrities, big time personalities and of course, by people that is so dear to her. Suddenly, all of them held their breathe for she fainted to the floor. Leaving her unconscious.

"WHY didn't you tell us about this?" a friend asks.

"Tell what? That I'm dying?" she asked cheerfully. "Haha, come on guys! All of us are gonna end up dying! Don't be too upset, I'm still alive and kicking."

"You're so stubborn, you know? This isn't a joke, for Pete's sake Angela!" protested her ex.

She just smile and joke with him. "Hey now, Travis! You're becoming a thoughtful person now, aren't you? Come on, no more talks for such bullshits, guys. Just the thought of you being all here makes me wanna go and kill myself. I want this happiness to be last thing that would register to my memory. I Love You, guys, and I am so thankful to be at nowhere but in this place. With you, right now."

She has gone through such  things that not any other indiviual could pass through, but she has done her best to be better. She has done her fair share of being a human being. The one who have experienced troubles, hardships and all other negative things in life but, she ha learned to fight back and continue life with everything that it has to offer. She didn't reach the end of the road yet, but for now, she is more than thankful and contented. She couldn't ask for anything but peace and wellness of the people that surrounds her. She isn't waiting for her death, either wanting it to come near her but had already embraced the fact that death is all around the corner. Due to that, she is more  than THANKFUL for a life that has been letting her to cherish.