Thoughts of a Million Stars

Dark Night

It was a dark but a starry night. When the wind blows like a breeze of the winter snow, I miss you. As the dark night unfolds then the shadow of you gets unknown, I’ve shed and dropped a thousand tear. I closed my eyes, to defend those tears from falling out but it seems like a splashing wave that can’t be tamed by a human power.

The night was dark but the moon and the stars are present. Tonight, as I made a strong gaze to the heavens, I see you. And I really wish that it was you. But I was wrong ‘coz it’s all nothing but a mere illusion of you. For like a hundred times I have called your name, then a thousand times I wish you were here but you are not. You never were and will never be here right just beside.

I guess I was wrong of pointing fingers towards you and blaming for the loneliness that I am feeling through. If not for you then who could it be? Shall I blame myself from having been thinking of you? Shall I curse my mind for I can’t even go on with my life without a single glimpse of your kind? Oh yes, I am such a fool. I can’t keep on going on without you in my upcoming morrows. I can just imagine that it would only feel everything but sorrow.

Have you ever remember, that night when only the two of us get out and see if the sky was dark? Was it filled with unraveling stars? Does the moon shows its full glory or is it cut into half? Both of us were wondering, both of us wanna know. Either of us wanna go to bed without clarifying the picture of the heavens. We’re like shits being so curious and yet so confused.

Then we have both decided. We go up to the rooftop, got some pairs of binoculars , a bit of snacks and a blanket with a four meter square of a size. We gazed, we talked of never ending stories, we argue on different perspective, we laugh on silly matters then later on cried over the things we owe each other.

I missed the old days when we only think of nothing but school assignments, projects, opera plays, recitals, theses and etc. Back then, the only problems we’re facing are some sort of such. But today is different. We haven’t even been seeing each other for years, as far as I could remember. I hated it, like so much. But do I even have the right to complain? All I could do is embrace the fact that there is no more me and you; and that what we had is nothing but a mere memory of the past that would surely be gone to the moment when it is vanished through the passing eras of time.

Tonight, as I look up in the sky, I see nothing but the Dark night, full of millions and billions of stars with the glory of a full grown moon; without you by my side.