Patrick Stump Imagines

Just venting

Hey guys! Sorry to update with an authors note, but I really just need to vent to someone else besides the people who hear these problems everyday.

So as you know, my parents are assholes. But now... Part of me is thinking I'm over readying about all this. Yes, they can be complete assholes at time, and at other times I feel like I'm bringing it on myself.

I'm not one to help around the house, and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I learned it from my brother who was and is the exact same way, or it's because I just mentally can't do anything, like I'm mentally tired for everything, or maybe I'm just lazy. I don't know anymore. Anytime I wanna do something I'd enjoy, I just can't bring myself to do it. It takes so long for me to get to that thing I wanna do, and I hate it. I've also been ignoring both of my parents since Saturday because they reaaaallly pissed me off.

The day before, I got the great news that I actually PASSED my Macroeconomics test, which I normally completely fail. But this time I didn't, and all I wanted to do was celebrate. I told both of my parents, and they were really happy for me, but then Saturday came and u was supposed to go out with my friends to celebrate, but they wanted me to clean every. Single. Dish in the sink before I went. Both sinks were filled to the top with dishes, and I really don't like washing my family's fucking dishes because they don't clean out their bowls, makin the sink smell like absolute death. So anyway, I told them I wasn't gonna do that, so my mom ended up texting my friends mom saying I wasn't going, which led me to go back to sleep for another 4 or 5 hours.

That kinda leads up to another thing I wanna vent about. I don't think anxiety is my only problem. I think I may also have a type of depression and ADHD. For depression, I just have those negative thoughts telling me no one cares, and that I deserve all of this, and that everyone is faking their feelings towards me. Also, these past two summers I've been extremeeeely depressed. Like i wouldn't wake up until noon, even if I wanted to wake up early. There was also an entire week where I wouldn't talk to my family or any of my rl friends because I thought they didn't care anymore. I saw on snapchat that they were hanging out together, and that just broke me. Like literally. I sat on my front porch for like  2 hours listening to music, and thinking about what I did wrong, and why I was even friends with them. But in reality, I love them to death. I would never be the and without them.

And for ADHD, I've been having trouble staying focused. During tutoring, my tutor would ask me a question, and I'd forget it right after she'd say it. I really can't focus though, and that's taking a toll on me mentally. I really need to go see someone about my problems, but my parents aren't willing to. They don't care. Well, maybe my dad cares a little, but he pushes it off. My mom cares more about me goin to the eye doctor or whatever then going to a psychologist or something. I'm sick of this. The only people that really care are my friends and you guys.

Sigh, I think that's about all I've got to vent about. If you read through all that, I love you so so much, thank you for caring/worrying about me, and I'm sorry you read all that. I'll be fine, though. Don't worry. It's just two more years with these fuckers, and maybe in those years they'll finally realize I'm not okay.

Thanks so much for reading my
venting! I love you guys! Until next time! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-Dawn!