Forever (Book 1) (Editing)

Chapter Forty Two

My head was spinning in thought as to how my father and Layla knew each other. I knew Colt thought it was a dumb move to confront Layla like I had, but if my father hadn't returned when he did; she would've spilled the beans about what they were planning. His presence had stopped her from doing so and once more in my life I was glad that I had the abilities that I did. Becoming invisible as I ran away kept me from being noticed by that man.

He had always been such a loving figure in my head. When I’d thought of him through the years he was always someone that I could trust, someone who had shown me nothing but love when I was a child. He was the only stable parent I’d had and then he’d died, leaving me to depend on my aunt for proper care once my mother had had enough of me. The fact that he was such a cold and callous person now, just didn’t sit well. The thought that my childhood memory of him could have all been an act just made me feel sick to my stomach.

This man just waltzed back into my life, having given me every reason to feel some form of happiness over it. Then in the end I was left at a loss. His reaction over Colt had been confusing, the fact that he’d tried to forgive our union was confusing. He knew the laws of the fates. He knew that this wasn’t a bond that could be broken without reason, and even then it would be devastating to both Colt and me. I wasn’t about to turn my back on my mate. I wasn’t about to forsake what I’d been born for.

The idea of all of this had been intimidating weeks ago. In fact I didn’t actually want any part of it. I just couldn’t seem to stay away though. The bond, even then, was stronger than I had given it credit for, and it had changed me over time. Somehow the idea was less intimidating and far more intriguing. Somehow, without having the time to dwell on my thoughts of all this, I’d given into the small part of me that wanted it. I wanted to take my place among these wolves. I wanted to stand by Colt’s side and lead them into the future. I wanted their respect and loyalty. I wanted what I’d been born to do. I had never in my life wanted something as bad as I wanted this. The need to be in this pack, to lead them, was almost stronger than my need to be with Colt. It was so close to overpowering the bond between us and I looked at Colt like the reward for doing what was right.

 No matter what the pack thought of me, he would always be there to support me in the end. He may be controlling and forceful with his wants and needs, but in the end he would always be there, and there was nothing I could do that would cause him to turn away. I was secure in knowing that no mistake could ever make him cut the bonds and walk away. We still had a long way to go and we had a lot that we still needed to learn about each other. But over time we would get to where we needed to be. Over time we would hopefully be able to meet on middle ground in almost all situations.

That was still a long way off but I had high hopes that he and I would be great together. In the mean time I was stuck to wonder what my father was up to. I didn’t trust this man, the one I knew very little about and was so very different from the one that I’d known as a child. I had wanted him in my life when I’d learned that he was still alive. I’d wanted to have a relationship with him. Then I’d met him and seen the sort of man he was now, seen his controlling tendencies that I’d never known as a child. I saw how he stood there and expected me to do as he said because he was my father. This was the man who had helped to give me life. But I wasn’t raised as his daughter. He hadn’t been a part of my life for well over half of it. I didn’t trust the man who just walked in and expected me to do as he said and who expected me to give up my mate because he wished it.

He may be my father and a part of me would always love the man he’d been with me as a child, but I couldn’t trust him. It wasn’t just what Colt and I had witnessed. It wasn’t just the way he’d reacted when he’d walked into my house. It was something deeper, something within me that I couldn’t even name that warned me off of him. The feeling was so deeply sunk into me that I just couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t rid myself of the dread I could feel because of it. I knew he was up to something, it’d been very clear just two days ago when Colt and I had seen him with Layla. Whatever it was we still had no idea.