Never Felt Right Calling This Just Friends (Taylex)

Chapter Twelve

A week later, things were going well between Alex and I, he seemed to be cheering up and I sure as heck was.

He was everything I'd ever wanted in a boyfriend. Not that we were even really together, nothing was official as of yet.

One day in late August, near the end of Warped Tour, Alex pulled me away from the packed crowds, for what I thought was some alone time.

'Tay, I need to talk to you.'

My heart skipped a beat, was he going to officially ask me to be his girlfriend? Was this, whatever it was, going to become a real thing?

'Lisa called me the other day.'

My hope sank to the bottom of my heart. This wasn't a 'get together', this was the break up of a relationship that never really started.

'And?' I swallowed my tears, pressing for the rest of the sentence. I would rather have it said to me now, than have it thrown in my face later.

'And she apologised for everything. She asked me to try again, and I said yes. I'm sorry Tay... No hard feelings? We still friends?'

His deep brown eyes melted my heart, and I agreed. He had me wrapped around his finger.

Come to think of it, I don't know why I agreed, all it did was cause me pain and misery, seeing them together at the end of Warped, holding hands, exchanging sweet nothings.

What they had meant nothing. But I meant nothing to Alex, quite clearly. He just kept running back to her. Over and over and over again.

I guess I was right when I said I meant nothing to him.

He told me he loved me. I told him I loved him. We loved each other! Wasn't that enough?

I thought being in love meant forever or at least for a while! But 2 weeks? Was that really long enough to love someone?

Although, I knew him way before we confessed our feelings. Well, my feelings, I don't know whether Alex was wing truthful. Either way, I felt sick to my stomach.

I couldn't believe he could have lead me on like that! Was it only me that felt the electricity pulse through my veins when we touched?

I had so many unanswered questions.

The first time I really started to find him attractive was that night he kissed me. He confessed everything to me about Lisa and her betrayal, and I saw a sensitive side to him, something I had not seen before. That night I cried because he said I meant nothing. Well, now I definitely was nothing to him. He'd gone back to Lisa.

At the beginning of Warped, we walked into each other and the attraction was like a lightning bolt through my heart. I loved him, more than he knew. When he told me he hated me, the fire in my heart was trampled and it could have been torn out if my chest. At least, I wanted it to, then maybe it wouldn't have hurt that much.

But then he admitted he loved me. I swooned. And I fell under his spell once again, captivated by his being.

What's a girl to do?

We were never officially together anyway, it kind of never really happened, so why was I sad? Why was I the one in pain yet again?

Luckily, the end of Warped was coming, two more shows and I'd be going home, back to Poughkeepsie.

Alone.