Never Felt Right Calling This Just Friends (Taylex)

Chapter Fourteen

A week had passed, and I was getting quite used to having Alex around the house. In fact, I was enjoying it, maybe a little more than I should have been.

Those feelings I had for him, they came back full force, and I knew that this time it would take a lot more than staying away from him for a while to erase them. He was everything I needed and more, and I couldn't believe that we were again getting so close. Often before he left the house to do anything (mainly to go buy new ice cream to cry over) he would kiss me softly on the cheek.

I was hoping that it meant more than just friends. It was weird, I wanted him to run back to me, and whisper sweet nothings into my ear, but by the way things were going, that would be a long time.

What I wanted from him and everything that we should be was almost tangible, almost reachable, I could almost taste it, but it was just a step too far away, and I wasn't sure if I could get any closer without taking anymore risks than I already have.

One morning, I woke up, as you do, and got ready, heading to the kitchen, when I stopped, to listen in to Alex, talking either to himself or on the phone. I shouldn't have eavesdropped, I know, but I was worried he was talking to himself again.

'I know you're sorry Lisa...' He paused, awaiting a reply on the other end of the phone line.

'Yes Lisa, I love you too.' He said monotone. A part of me didn't believe him, but a part, and a lot bigger part, believed him.

My heart felt heavy. My chest physically hurt. And I was struggling to breathe.

I should be happy for him. He's in love. But it's not healthy. It's really not healthy for him.

'Yes, I will be back in Baltimore as soon as I can.' There was another long pause, 'I will make it the earliest flight I can get.'

'Bye.' He hung up without another word, and I decided that it would be a good idea to move, before he found me eavesdropping.

I moved swiftly to the kitchen, where I made myself breakfast, taking it to my room.

My heart couldn't take much more of this pain, of all this trauma, I was sick. I couldn't cope, and I broke down.

I pushed my unfinished plate away, and curled into a ball, feeling sick to my stomach from the heavy heaving up and down of my chest. My hand was trying to muffle my cries, hoping Alex wouldn't hear me.

Even then he wouldn't be bothered by it, he'd just hush me and ask me what's wrong, without even a hint of emotion in his voice.

Every bit of faith that had been restored by this wretched heart of mine, had been crushed entirely by three words. I could only wish. There was no hope.

My whole body then filled with rage, he knew how I felt about him. He knew that how much this would hurt me. He knew that I would be laid here, crying my eyes out over some douchebag that couldn't make his God damn mind up. I was done feeling sorry for him. He could leave for all I cared.

As much as I still loved him I had to be strong. I had to be the bigger person, and let him know I would support him no matter what his decision was. Yes, I wasn't happy, but I needed to dry my eyes, because this, my friends, is not the end of the world.

It isn't the end of the world that some guy I have fallen in love with doesn't feel the same, you've just got to push in and show them what they're missing. It it's the end of the world that he is dating someone, it doesn't mean that he's going to marry her.

I sat up, and dried my eyes. I was going to do something for myself for a change.