Sorry

nine

abia kamin

"The Ardons are not to be trusted. Stay away from the Ardons."

It rang in my head over and over and over again. I wanted to shake it out but I couldn't. I was losing sleep over it. Mateo didn't deserve to make me lose sleep yet he was at fault for it. He meant it when he said he'd be away for a while to stay low. I needed the break from him. Time for me to detach.

My eyes opened at the knock on my window, a dark figure standing on my roof. The rain was heavy, creating splatters onto my window. Water droplets trailed down like they were racing each other. I turned the other way, facing away from the window.

"That's how it's gonna be? You're gonna let me stand out here in the rain?" Mateo spoke on top of the rain for me to hear him. I adjusted my head in my pillow, having no intention of opening the window. "Alright. That's okay. I can stay here. I like listening to you sleep anyways." I knew him well enough to know he had a huge grin on his face.

I waited a bit, waiting to fall asleep. The rain hitting my window was relaxing. But not enough to put me to sleep. When I turned to look behind, Mateo was still there. His back leaned against the window. The stronger the rain grew, the more my heart told me to let him in. I got out of bed, my arms and legs exposed to the cold air when I opened the window for him.

"Don't touch anything," I shut the window behind him. His clothes were drenched and he smiled at himself winning. He won.

I cleared my throat, turning away when he started stripping his clothes. He removed his shirt and jeans to set on my desk chair. I had no clothes for him, meaning he was forced to remain in his boxers. He knew exactly what he was doing.

"You're upset I'm here, which is odd considering you were also upset I was leaving," he caught the towel I angrily threw his way. Do not cave in Abia. Remember what mother said. "Talk to me."

I stood across from him, taking in his height and build. I had two options—keep up front and not bother, or tell him everything my mother said. But I wanted to hear what he had to say before making a final decision.

"My mom told me everything about you," I started off, the hesitation coming through in my voice.

"Did she tell you about yourself? Your family?" He almost threatened, almost offended at the way I brought things up. Right now it felt like we were on opposing teams and I was fraternizing with the enemy.

"She did. She told me the important stuff," I took in a deep breath, my body tensing when his fingers touched the skin on my waist. "She emphasized staying away from you for my safety," I inched away from his hand.

"By now you should know I would never hurt you," he brought my chin up when my head had sunken low. I was confused. My mother telling me about this malicious, merciless monster that I should steer away from. Yet, here the monster was cradling my head in his hands. He managed to be the most aggressive and most gentle guy I know.

"Because of the treaty or because of-"

"Fuck the treaty, Kamin. It's because I would never do anything to hurt you or put you in harms way," his voice went soft making me want to crawl into a ball just to have time to figure things out for myself. Figure things out without the influence of others persuading my head.

"And you don't think that includes being honest and telling me the truth?" I shoved his hands off of me, knowing any minute I would fall for him. Don't fall for him, Abia. Please don't cave.

He sighed, not knowing how to go about things. "I'm protecting you."

"I don't need your fucking protection. I'm a...I'm a witch. I can protect myself." It was weird hearing those words leave my lips because it seemed crazy. But the sooner I let it sink in, the sooner I could start to unlock this huge part of my identity. "I was told about this new side of me and despite everything my mom told me, the first person I wanted to tell was you. And you weren't here because you were off doing God knows what. You just left me."